Monday Mantra ☮

Happy Monday loves!! :) Whenever I type that out, I think of hugging whoever is reading this. If you're having a rough start to your week, or maybe you want to curl up in bed instead of doing whatever it is you have to do, I want you to think of me giving you a virtual hug. Do it! Now smile :) Mondays are meant to start fresh and start over! Do you feel a little better? Maybe? :) 

I really resonated with this quote when I came across it on Pinterest. This kind of describes how I have been moving the past year. I'll admit, I've been moving a bit slow. Well, I should say i WAS moving a bit slow. I didn't know what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go, who i wanted to see. I was completely lost. I was without motivation to do much. But what I didn't understand was life is going to keep moving. Fast or slow, it's not stopping. On a particularly stressful day for me, my mom sat with me on the couch, and I just cried. It wasn't anything hysterical, I just silently cried in her arms. She told me that I have to stop waiting for life to happen. Just sitting back and doing nothing expecting miracles to happen doesn't work (although there are some exceptions). She also said that you have to start small, like when I told her about how I wanted to get a job or start my blog. In order to climb up the ladder, you have to start at the bottom, and that's what I'm doing now.

Fast forward a couple months later, and I have my camera, a great babysitting job, and I'm feeling more like myself pre-depression. It's been awhile since then, but I'm starting to feel happier. It's amazing how doing what you love can change your whole outlook on life, isn't it? So getting back to the quote, I'm doing things slowly. I'm doing them right and the way I feel comfortable. Soon, I want to expand out of my comfort zone and do bigger things that scare me, and scare me a lot. Have you ever had that feeling where you've accomplished something huge after having such a long fear of it? It feels amazing doesn't it? The way where you feel like you can conquer things so much bigger. I wanna have that feeling more often. 

And one last thing, I don't intend on walking backwards, either. Everything in life happens for a reason, and the struggles I've gone through have put me in the position I'm in today. Trying to fix the past doesn't heal anything because it's already over. It's a hard way of living, to try and focus on the present moment, because nowadays we are always looking ahead or at what someone posted 3 hours ago. But, I've been setting little goals throughout the day to just be quiet and be in the moment. It really helps to center the mind and quiet the loud noises in your head.

Hope this wasn't a rambly post!! Have a great week :)

xx, Maddie

Stress Less: Go For a Walk

I hope you're all having a great weekend! :)

I think I want to start a new series called “Stress Less.” I always like reading posts about how to make life a little less stressful, so I want to share with you what works for me.

I have always liked taking walks, especially at night when the sun is setting. That’s a time for me when I feel most myself. That, or right in the morning when the sun is rising. I guess I’m just that kind of person haha! Taking a quiet walk in the evening is when I start to tune out and think the most about things like school, hobbies, my future plans…

But the reason I love walking is because you can start a walk angry, sad, confused, whatever emotion, and then come back feeling refreshed and new. It gives a person time to think and release any unwanted energy. Being around nature and fresh air leaves me feeling amazing, too. And closer to being a human. You know, a human that has been untouched by technology and social media and present day madness.

When I go for walks, I don’t take any music, either. And I know that would probably surprise some of you! But I really like to unplug from any technology. Now that doesn’t mean you have to if that’s what you like. If listening to music relaxes you fully, then by all means listen to 100 songs if you want to. But just pay attention to your surroundings, the animals making noises. It really centers you and brings you to the present moment.

And lastly, forgive and forget. If you got into a fight with your parents, a sibling, your best friend, a co-worker, let it go. If it’s anything silly or just unwanted banter, brush it off and then remember you’re just a human and its normal to get into fights! If it’s something more, think about how you can resolve it without the problem getting out of hand. Think about what you can say to that person. And like I said, forgive and forget. Release negative energy.

I hope this helps anybody looking to de-stress. Even if you don’t need to, just go for a walk anyway. It’s so great for the mind, body, and soul.

Always remember to smile!! <3

Xx, Maddie

Being Curious... ☯

For the last couple of days I've been in a weird mood. I've been thinking a lot, almost to the point of arguing with myself. Weird right? I just feel like I have to write it out or something...if you don't mind.

I have had conversations going back and forth in my head, like saying "you need to do this" "i'll do it later" or thinking about things in the future which don't need my thoughts yet. That is a problem I'm struggling with. I need to stay in the present moment. For the past, I don't know couple of weeks, I have wanted time to either speed up or slow down. I don't want to get any older at this point, because I have a fear of my future in a year's time. I don't know what I want to do, study, I don't know where I wanna go...and the truth is it doesn't matter. I know it doesn't. But I'm the type of person that likes to know things like this. I know there are people out there who go from being homeless to millionaires in a year's time, or who start little blogs and become internet famous. I have to drill it in my head that not knowing what the future holds is perfectly normal and its okay.

I just...I get anxious. When I think about things like getting a real job, not just babysitting, it scares me into thinking my childhood is over. Am I the only one that thinks this? I hope not. I have really really been trying to experiment with hobbies and things I like to do. I know what i like to do. I like to draw, take pictures, write, blog, create, i love makeup and fashion...And some days I love it more than others. On certain days, sometimes I could care less about makeup. But then on others I'm absolutely obsessed. I guess that's the thing about being human. We go through ups and downs, and maybe being a girl you go through more haha! :)

The thing is, I want to expand my creativity. I think when I went into high school, I was just kind of pushed into a whole new world, and I kind of shut myself out from a LOT. I turned into a completely different person, and I still think I'm not the same. Of course I've changed since 4 years ago, but before high school, I used to laugh at everything and not care about what people think. I used to brush stuff off that didn't matter and I used to be laid back. Nowadays, I'm sort of confused and quiet. Once I get to know people, I can't shut up, but now it's like I can't really start a conversation. When I found the world of blogging, my hopes looked up. I started following a few blogs, and now it's turned into a few hundred. I LOVE reading blogs, any kind really. It's like talking to a friend that you don't even know!

 That's why I started my blog. I started it a year ago, and left it. I do regret not trying last year, but when I look back on it, last year wasn't good. I often have a feeling inside like I'm late on the train or I'm too old to start something, and then I think how stupid is that? I'm so young, my life hasn't even properly started yet, and I'm worried about being too old! 

I have some goals that I want to achieve very soon:

-learn the tricks to good photography

-stop worrying about what others think of me

-journal and write my ideas every single day

-do something that makes me happy every single day

-create friendships with other bloggers

-smile, more often

-add to this list

These are basic, little goals that I need to set for myself. I have more, but that's why I put add to this list. Blogging and writing and creating are things I love to do, and I think it's just hard for me right now because I had fears of who I was and what I'm like. I need to access my creativity that I used to have, and start to really use it every single day, like I used to. I really want my blog to grow and turn into something amazing. Make it a place of uniqueness and a place where others can come to be happy and be let in on my life. I just want that to happen :)

I feel like sometimes I wonder why I started a blog. There are so many thousands of blogs nowadays, that a lot of content is pretty similar. But i have to realize that it's about being yourself and original. That's what gets friendships started and a blog growing. I find that if I get a vibe off of a blog like this isn't really a passion, I don't read it or follow it. Being a reader, you just kind of know when someone isn't for real. And I don't want that to ever happen with my blog. Especially since I'm starting to really put a lot of work and effort into it. Since starting to post regularly on my blog, I've realized what a demanding and long working job blogging is. Really, it's hard to understand if you don't do it, but it's a tough job! I don't really know how to end this post since I feel like I could rant a little more, but I won't haha.

This was a little rant, and I hope it doesn't annoy anyone haha. I felt like I needed to get little blurbs out of my head..if anyone wants to ever talk to me just talk to me through google +, or twitter :)

my twitter is: @maddieeebug

xx, Maddie

Rearranging my room ♡

Every now and then I get really tired of the way I have my room. I'm a person that spends a lot of time in my bedroom, so I want it to make me feel relaxed and comfortable, you know? So when I want to re-decorate it or re-arrange it, I don't stop. Sometimes it takes me all day, other times it takes me a few minutes. A couple days ago I started looking around at my dresser and I realized it was cluttered and very dusty. Like, sometimes i dont even remember the last time i dusted...i know. its an annoying habit of mine even though i'm such a clean freak.

This is how my dresser turned out..It's not exactly what I want it to be yet, but it's getting there. I just ordered some acrylic makeup storage organizers (and im SO excited) for my makeup and lipsticks.  so the lipsticks wont stay like that, thank god! In the future i'm going to be painting my room a very light cream, off white color, and im going to paint my dresser too. Should i paint it a bright color, or another off white color? I'm going for a more simple, crisp design but im not sure which way to go. Because I can always bring in color with accessories :D

This is how the top of my bedside table turned out. Again, it's going to be changing soon, but I like how simple it can look. I love the look of stacked books too. As you can see I have a growing collection of crystals and stones, and I also have a couple mini elephants, which all mean luck, wealth, success, etc. 

SO, I mean it's nothing outstanding, but I'm working on it! If you guys have any tips or recommendations, leave some comments below! :) 


xx, Maddie

❁•∙May Favorites ❁•∙

I seriously cannot believe it's June already...Like, 2014 is halfway over!! That's absolutely crazy to me. Time is going bye wayyyy too fast if you ask me. Throughout the month of May, I did a lot of "spring cleaning" through my wardrobe and my makeup. I decided that I needed to get rid of some things that were just taking up space in my room. While doing this I rediscovered some beauty products and I ended up using them most of the month! 


1// Essie's Mint Candy Apple: I painted my nails three times this month with this color! If that doesn't say love or obsessed, I don't know what does. I just find this color to be springy and summery and i can't get enough.

2// Urban Decay NAKED Palate: It's an oldie but a goodie. I think I used this palate every single day. You can't go wrong with the colors; there's perfect neutrals and stunning shimmery shades to blend with. I always went for a simple daytime look, and enhanced my eyes with the darker colors.

3// Pink Sugar Perfume: Have you smelled this? If you haven't, you're really missing it. It smells like straight up sugar cookies, but without making you sick. I used to wear this in middle school...ahh those were the days. Brings back a lot of weird memories of gym class *shudders* Any who, this is the perfect scent to spritz anytime of the day. Is it weird that i like to spray myself with a hint of perfume when i get out of the shower?? It makes me feel fancy..

4// Maybelline Color Elixir in Nude Illusion: Ahhh the nude lipgloss! Since I've gotten darker, this color has looked better and better. I've probably worn this everyday too. It has a warm peachy tone to it and like i said, if you have a bit of a tan it doesn't look like you have no lips, it will give you a simple fresh summer look. Which is my fave. It also stays on through eating!! Score.

5// Not Your Mother's Clean Freak Dry Shampoo: Another somewhat oldie! I bought this at the drugstore a couple months ago and kind of forgot about it. When I was going through my bathroom cabinets I grabbed it and kind of squealed when I found it..Let me just say it definitely does it's job. It gives amazing volume and gets rid of any oil. The only down side is...white powder. Yep. It does leave a cast behind, so if you have dark hair, I wouldn't recommend going into direct sunlight with this in your hair!

So that's what I've been loving currently. What are some items you have been loving? Have you tried any of the products above?


Happy June! :)

xx, Maddie

My First Youtube Video is UP! ☼

YES. I did it. I FINALLY did it!! :) I posted this on Saturday...it took me a little while but I got it up. I'm a little nervous, but I'm so excited as well. Everything is starting to fall into place with what I want to do.

If you wanna watch it or leave me feedback, please don't be afraid to! I am open for anything. 



Hope it's not too awkward!! :)

Just wanted to quickly post this! 

xx, Maddie 

Monday Mantra ☮

Happy Monday beautiful people!! I hope you had a nice weekend :) I was able to write a lot and get some of my creative ideas transferred into my journal..Lately I've been taking more me time and less time on social media..which can be tough because having a blog and youtube channel (soon!!) requires hours of time on the internet. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE to read blogs and get inspiration through the internet, and sometimes I find myself sitting in one place for hours and hours...oops haha. Anyway, it's always good to just unplug, even for a day, or a couple of hours at least. It really helps to get back to life right now in the moment, and believe it or not that's sometimes when I get some really good ideas :)

SO, I want to share a new little series on the blog called "Monday Mantra." I am a person who lives by quotes, and if you don't believe me just look at my Silver Lining pinterest board ;) In the mornings or especially before I go to bed, I love to read a couple of really nice quotes or sayings. It leaves me wondering and happier in general.

When I read this it really stuck with me. Over the past year, I have struggled with being happy with myself, my life, school, you name it. Typical teenage girl problems. It's hard to explain, but on some days I'll be really happy and positive about life, and on others I'll want to curl up in a ball, eat chocolate and cry. Crying is good for the soul, but not every single day. I'll admit it, last year I probably cried once a day. And i'm not even exaggerating. It's just something I dealt with, and a big part of this "depression" i had was fear. Fear of putting myself into the world. I was afraid to walk into a beautiful little stationary store to pick up a job application. I know right? But I thought way too much into things. Like, "what if I'm not a good enough employee?" "What if I can't help a costumer the right way?" "What if they ask me to do a couple of things at once and I can't handle it?" These questions went around my head 300 miles per hour and I couldn't get myself to shut up. Not to mention, I am a very mature person for my age with amazing grades, and I was putting myself down terribly. 

This went on for about 6 months, and I never got the job. Well, I never returned the application. I don't regret it, because right now I'm babysitting and earning good money, so I can't worry about what "would have happened." Life doesn't work out that way. If something doesn't go the way you originally planned, let it go. You have to let yourself bloom the way you're meant to. Getting back to the quote, you can't always think too far into the future. Sure, it's always good to plan some things out in advance, but people change. Heck, if I knew I was starting a blog and a youtube channel 4 or 5 years ago, I would of laughed and not really understand it. People who don't worry about the future find what they love to do easier. It's just something as simple as watching your favorite movie or going to a sewing class. You eventually find what you love to do, and you can create something out of it :) Like me and writing, photography, fashion...i created this little space. And i can't wait for it to grow ♡

And once you "blossom", the rest just falls into place ☼

I hope you guys like this new series and I can't wait to share more with you!

xx, Maddie