Weekly Recap

1// As I said in this post, I enrolled into an online business/marketing school and I am so FREAKIN EXCITED

2// In my acting class at school, I was cast as Beth for our "Little Women" show. She is a character that ends up passing away lol, but I'm still thrilled I've got a semi-big part!

3// I hit 700 followers AND 800 followers on Instagram. God I freakin love you guys :)

4// I had kind of a crying breakdown about my eating disorder, because I've just been having a rough time. As easy as it may seem to recover on the outside, it's like prison on the inside. But, my mom came in my room and hugged and talked to me for at least an hour and made everything better…she's the best.

5// Lately I've been doing a lot more yoga and flexibility routines, and I've noticed such a difference!! I'm getting more flexible, stronger, and I can even transition into backbends and wheels :D 

The weeks have been going bye so fast and I can barely keep up…like it's MARCH. WHAT?? I'll be graduating high school in 2 months…gulp.

Have a lovely weekend xx

Enrolling in a New School?

Yep. You read that right. As of today I am officially enrolling into an online business/marketing school, and I am SO FREAKIN EXCITED. It's everything I've been asking for. I'll be able to learn about social media, branding, networking, building a business and everything else that comes with being a successful entrepreneur. Gosh I'm getting goosebumps just writing this. And the best part is, I'll be able to work and study on my own time, so school or activities will never be in the way. This, as crazy and exciting as it is, is a big step for me. It's out of my comfort zone, and so far it's making me feel so confident and powerful. This year I made it a goal to do things I would normally say no to or to back away from. Why not take risks? There is absolutely nothing bad that can come from saying yes, other than finding out if you like and don't like something. Instead of saying no and regretting it forever, make awesome memories! Make yourself stronger and smarter and happier! I'm already so thrilled that I'm able to do something like this, and it hasn't even started yet. This is an opportunity that was basically put in front of me after praying for something like it to show up, and its crazy to me that my wishes came true. I am SO beyond grateful for my parents too, who are helping to pay for some of it. But I told them they will get every penny back. I'm so excited to start this new wild journey :)

Here's to saying yes to many opportunities and creating a freakin amazing life<3

Reaching Out

There are so many aspects to blogging that I love, but my favorite part, and arguably the best part, is meeting so many different people. A week ago, I made it a goal to reach out to a ton more people on Instagram and tumblr, even through blogs on bloglovin'. I can't believe it, but I've gained over 100 new followers within a couple of days, and for me thats a lot! Leaving comments on pictures leads to so many different possibilities on relationships and followings. Before I set up goals for myself, I was kind of a ghost follower. I never really commented or let people know what I think so of course no one is gonna find me! I don't know why it never clicked, but suddenly it did. Even within the span of a week, I've gotten close/gotten to know some bloggers well and so many more are finding me. I feel so much more in the loop and connected. It's not always about the number of followers you have or gain, but it is nice to see that people are actually finding what I share and enjoy it, you know? It's important to set goals for yourself, and layout what you really want to happen for yourself, because anything you set your mind to CAN happen. You have the power to make your life the way you want it :) Reach out to people! Create new friendships and hobbies. <3

Have a lovely Monday everyone :)

Killer Comparison

This whole week I've dealt a lot with this feeling. This feeling of constantly comparing myself to literally every girl I see, read about, stalk on Instagram. For a while, I was able to stop doing this to myself, because I was in a good place mentally, but lately it's been hard. Things like how many followers she has, how perfect her skin is, how fit she is, it's all been bothering me. And it doesn't feel good. It brings me down, and I'm not the type of person that likes to feel that way! Why do we do this to ourselves? Each and every one of us are totally different, separate human beings. NONE of us should ever want to be anybody but ourselves. But do we blame social media? Or is it just human nature to want something so badly? I realize that in this "business" of blogging, there is a great deal of comparison on every level. From blog design, to followers to the types of writing and pictures posted…sometimes it all gets a bit too much and it overwhelms me, and on some days I feel like just walking away from it all. But its just a matter of how you take it. You CANT compare your own beautiful, unique being to someone else…you just cant. Everyone has their own journey, their own style, their own followers. And not everyone will like each other! But thats okay. It's how the world works. If you compare yourself to the blogger with 500,000 followers and a picture perfect life on the outside, you will feel miserable and let down. Instead, create a vision of what you want for yourself. What makes you happy and excited? What would you do for the rest of your life if money didn't matter? Go do that. You'll find yourself and your happiness, and the right people will find you and follow you. You can't want to be a copy of someone else because life doesn't work that way. Instead, just BE YOU. Block out the negative, the comparison and love who YOU are. Because you're amazing and unique and special, and there's only one of you. So be the best you you can be and everything will work out the way it should.

Comparison is the thief of happiness. So when you find yourself comparing, take a step back from life and get back to who you really are. <3

Setting Sun

Lately, I've been so awestruck and taken back by the sunset. Even if I catch two minutes of it, my mind and body feel electrified and recharged. Standing on cold grass, feeling the warmth of the setting sun, while capturing the view of a hot pink and tangerine sky. It's invigorating. Especially after a long, stressful day, nothing is better than watching a sunset. The special part is when it goes dark, and the sky goes purple, then the black silhouettes of trees and mountains come into view. I always get the urge to take a thousand pictures, because none of them ever look the same. This time of day is perfect for reflection, to give gratitude, and visualize abundance for yourself. It's such a special few moments, to ground yourself with your soul and the earth. So the next time the sun sets, take the time to enjoy it for yourself :)

25 Facts About Me

1. I've lived in Arizona, United States my whole life

2. No, I don't like it here so I'm hoping to move to Cali in the upcoming years

3. I'm turning 18 on May 27th ;)

4. I've been vegan for a year now-woohoo!

5. I'm a gemini, and boy do I act like one

6. I've been told by many of my teachers that I 'have a gift for writing'

7. I've never really been one to have a bunch of friends, only a couple of really close ones :)

8. I find Numerology and Astrology very fascinating

9. I'm a die-hard yogi, self-taught, and trying to practice as much as possible

10. I must say I make killer vegan desserts

11. I suffer from anorexia/orthorexia/over-exercising but I am in the midst of recovery <3

12. I spend way too many nights laying in my bed scrolling through Instagram accounts and talking to new people ;)

13. Although I'm not properly Buddhist, I practice that lifestyle

14. My style is allllwayyss changing, whether it comes to fashion, hair, lifestyle…

15. My dream is to do what I love and make a career out of it, and be able to financially support myself while traveling all over the world

16. Paris, London, Rome, and Australia are just a few of the places I want to live and visit

17. Every morning I wake up at 5:15 and work out before school

18. Even though I'm an early bird, I find that I get lots of my creative juices flowing in the middle of the night

19. My favorite season is Summer, where I can literally lay in the sun all day and turn a dark golden color haha!

20. Some days I love to go all out and dress up, and other days you can find me curled up in sweats

21. I really wish I knew how to use my Canon DLSR camera correctly-I'm kind of intimidated by it

22. I would love for this blog to grow into a full-time job for me <3

23. Even though I'm turning 18, I feel like a 12 year old most days. 

24. I love saving all the magazines I read, and ripping and tearing out pictures from them and making mood/inspiration boards

25. I spend a lot of my free time on the internet, searching/writing/reading blogs and videos, but it's the best thing that has happened to me

I feel like I could write more but would that be boring?? Haha--basically I'm just a girl who is shy at first and then once I get to know you I can't really shut up. I talk too much about vegan food and I love to instastalk people on a regular basis. I'm an art freak who loves to dance wildly to loud music and also stay in on the weekends and bake cookies with my mom :) Traveling the world is something that I'm made to do and I can't wait to be able to share my adventures <3

Favorite Vegan Tumblr Blogs

Essena

Clean Body Fresh Start

EarthlingMaxi

TessBegg

I've been spending waaaaaay too much time on Tumblr, but as a result I have found, followed, and friended these amazing vegan blogs. I don't know how but I think they are all from Australia, but they are so relatable and just like me. We're all around the same age, we have the same beliefs, and the fact that I'm able to make friends with people around the world is so so cool to me. I love catching up on what kind of meals they create, what exercises they love and find efficient and stuff like that. Sorry if that seems weird but it's what I'm into haha! ;D And what I love most about these blogs is that they promote healthy body image and wholesome eating and fitness, none of that barely eating crap. I think it's so amazing that there are more and more young girls coming out about the right way to eat and the right way to feel and look your best. I've also been obsessed with watching their youtube videos too xx

Check them out if you're interested :-)

Anorexia Recovery

I've really been thinking about it a lot, and I've come to realize I really want to help other girls going through what I'm going through. Being diagnosed with anorexia/orthorexia is something I never would have thought I would have to deal with. It's been a very long, hard journey for me. I've restricted calories, over-exercised, cut out foods and food groups. I've dealt with extreme weight loss, hair loss, fatigue, you name it. I started my vegan journey a year ago and I feel absolutely wonderful. So, when I see girls with this same problem struggling, it kills me. I so so badly want to help and guide and answer questions. I want to share all of my vegan recipes, tips, and things like that.

Where do I begin? Tumblr? This blog? Another blog? A youtube channel? I want to make the jump. I feel like I'm kind of starting over with my blog. I'm leaning towards more lifestyle, vegan/fitness but also still incorporating beauty and fashion because I love it. I'm trying to set up and figure out a good posting schedule, where maybe every monday is lifestyle, tuesday is something vegan, and so on. But I have to find something that works for me.

Meeting so many different girls from Instagram and blogs who have recovered or are recovering is so special to me. It's like making a new friend, and they know EXACTLY what you're going through. The whole vegan community is so reassuring and lovely and I really want to be apart of it. So I think I'm going to make that my priority :)

I also have a question- do you think there are more vegan tumblr blogs? I feel like there's a lot and I have a better chance of talking to people quicker and easier…what do you think? I just have to learn how to use that site properly haha! ;)

iPhone Life

1//Mega green smoothie with bananas, mango, spinach and coconut water- it was heaven! 2//A chakara charm my mom got me at our favorite yoga studio- i have been wanting this for months and i almost cried when she gave it to me. I can't wait to hang it above my bed. 3//Felt sporty with this beanie. 4//Breakyy-Oats, covered with strawberries, blueberries, almonds and heaps of cinnamon

5//My candy-mango. 6//Wearing my fuzzy pink sweater for the last time with my favorite heart necklace. 7//Killed a workout! 8//Love this nude- Revlon color burst matte balm in the shade 'complex'

Maddie

The Grammy RedCarpet: My Favorite Looks

I know it's only three looks, but to me I thought these were the most beautiful of the night. I thought Taylor arrived looking so sophisticated and beautiful, and kind of like how she used to dress in the big ball gowns. It's different from what she's been wearing recently! Ariana of course STUNNED in that little white Versace gown, the back was my favorite part. I think because she's so tiny its hard for her to pick out any gown that isn't figure hugging, so I thought that silhouette was a perfect fit. And then we have Rihanna, who caused a stir with her gown haha. A lot of people are saying they didn't like it, but I would have to disagree. I think the color is gorgeous and it goes amazingly with her skin color, and the whole body of it to me is fun and funky, just like her personality. It covered her up a lot which is a surprise since she is usually in very little, but I love it overall. I would totally wear it and I think it was a great step for her to wear it!

What were some of your favorite looks from the Grammy's?

oh ps. i changed my blog layout and so far I'm really liking it-what are your thoughts?

xx

What I Want: Workout Gear

I have no idea why but all of the sudden I've been obsessing over workout clothes. It's never been something that I really wanted or needed for that matter, but as I'm getting really into fitness, it's been bothering me that I have no cute clothes to wear while I workout! I recently got some cute athletic hoodies to exercise in, and it gave me such an added burst of energy and motivation to work out and push myself harder haha! You feel so much better when you know you look cute in a good pair of leggings or a sports bra-and not only that it helps you perform better too. My personal favorites that I've been eyeing up are Nike and the Victoria's Secret PINK workout gear. 

Do any of you have a personal favorite? I would love to know recommendations! :)

Happy Monday xx

Maddie

One of those days

For the past few days I feel like I've been going a bit mad. I had sort of an emotional cry with my mom just about life. I want to figure it out, I want to figure out who I am and what I want to do. I want to know how to take action and achieve my goals, big and small. I want to be 18 already so I can get the jobs I want and be taken seriously. I want to figure out my blog and turn this into a space of freedom and creativity. I just want to be surrounded by motivated, like-minded people. 

It's just one of those days!

Maddie

Past Memories

During my study hall at school, i had brought one of my old journals from home to look through, because i like to do that every once and a while. It's fun to see what I was up to in past years. Anyway, holy cow was I in a time warp. It was soooo weird to see what kind of thoughts I was thinking, and how I was perceiving the future. I was writing about what kinds of things I wanted to achieve with starting Youtube, getting my first camera, and things like that. Even a year ago I was still thinking some of the same thoughts I am today, like where the heck am I going to be in a year?? It freaks me out and I wish I could control that emotion more, but I can't. Life is going to keep moving forward no matter what.

The other night my mom had left to go to a class, so it was just me and my dad at home. Normally, after dinner he goes into the living room and works/watches tv and I clean up the kitchen and go do whatever I do. But this night, he stayed in the kitchen with me and talked to me. We had such a deep conversation, and it lasted 2 HOURS. I haven't had a conversation like that with my dad in I don't even know how long. It felt so good to get some things off of my chest, like talking about my eating disorder with him, how I'm trying to gain weight, what I think about school and how I'm doing with "future plans", he even asked me about my hobbies and I told him how I wanted to start modeling, which is something I've always been afraid of admitting! But I did and he said he is on my side no matter what. He gave me his insights about everything and I listened, and we even got a bit emotional. Honestly I loved every minute of it. We ended up hugging for a long time at the end and in that moment I felt so secure, like everything is going to end up okay. Sometimes I wish I could have more talks like that. It just gives me a sense of knowing that I'm in really good hands and that life is going to be okay during these confusing times. Anyway, I thought I would share that because it was a really special moment with my dad and I want to remember it forever.

Maddie

Simply Smile

Thats all it takes. Look in the mirror and for that one moment of catching your eyes, your reflection, just forget everything thats happening and picture happiness. If you're feeling sad, angry, confused, fearful, take a moment to travel to a different space. Close your eyes and think of a place that truly calms you and brings you a sense of comfort and joy. For me, thats imagining myself laying underneath the warmth of the sun next to the ocean. Nothing is better than the sound of crashing waves and feeling the grainy sand against my skin. It's bliss, and thats what I've been thinking about in times of panic. If you're feeling that mid-week oh my god when's friday slump, imagine yourself in your special place. Even take some time to yourself in your bedroom, close the door, light a candle and just lay and listen to nothing. Hear your thoughts and imagine your goals that you want to reach. 

I've started doing this for the past week and I don't know how but my life has done a total turn around. I'm waking up so giddy and grateful, and I've been interacting with more kids at school and making more friends…I mean is this a coincidence or am I just lucky?! I don't know, but I thought I would share with you guys something thats been helping me, just so it can help you too :)

I hope everyone is having a good week, its almost friday!!

Maddie

Bohemian Mood Board

For the past I don't know week or so, I've been reaaaally into the whole bohemian vibe/style…I've been doing a lot more yoga which causes me to get closer to myself and my thoughts, and for some reason I've been changing a lot haha! Might sound weird but I feel like when I do yoga, I get more connected to who I really am, without comparing myself to everyone else, especially on social media and blogs. Sometimes I forget what I really like, you know? My whole life, and especially being a teenager, I've always been into this bohemian style. The stacked bracelets, lace, light flowy clothes, gorgeous dewy makeup, i LOVE it. All of these pictures are what have been going through my mind lately, and I love how it turned out :) I really want to get those gold temporary tattoos, have any of you tried them?? I think once I get tan enough (which might take a while) I think i'll try some because they are gorgeous. Which reminds me, I'm really missing summer…like a lot. I think I'm over feeling like a frozen human all the time, and the dark cold mornings…am I right?!

I hoop everyone is having a great February so far!! When did that happen?! 

Maddie

Some Sunday Inspiration

Ever since this little break I'm taking on my body, I feel like so many thoughts and ideas are coming to my head. I've been doing yoga in the morning when I wake up instead of my crazy workouts, and I swear it's helping to calm my mind and open my creativity. Today as I was sitting here reading through some artsy blogs, I realized that this is really what I'm meant to do, create and express myself through art.

I feel like over the past year or so I've just been lost. I've tried to adapt to certain styles and convince myself to like certain things just because they were popular, and it's hitting me now that doing that to myself is such a waste of time. Why do I want to be anybody but myself?? Everyday I pray and wish that I will "find myself" and my calling and discover my passion, when really it's been in front of me the whole time, I've just been going through a lot of shit and it's been blocking me from realizing it. 

I really am getting the urge to change everything, once again haha. I want to change my blog layout to something more me, because it's not me anymore. I've held off on getting my bedroom furniture and I don't know why, but now it's all making sense because I guess I just wasn't ready to commit to another big change. It's so funny how everything always ends up happening for a reason..I've also been wondering about getting a job and when that will happen, but I've been thinking of so many different things like interning, and even modeling, that I'm okay with not having a job yet because I know the right one will come soon.

I know it seems silly to talk about exercise the way I do, but ever since I'm taking a break I feel free. I feel like I'm finally relaxing and enjoying the present moment. I'm not worried about how many calories I burned or what kind of crazy insane workout I will do tomorrow. It's not worth that mental stress and I'm finally starting to realize that. I want to be able to look back on this journey and see what kind of progress I made through this hard time. 

After seeing some really cool artsy posts, I'm feeling realllyyy inspired and right now I just want to grab some paints and create an awesome collage or abstract painting, so I think I'm gonna do that :-) I guess this was just a quick little stop to check in :) I hope everyone is having a beautiful weekend! The rainy weather I'm experiencing is also perfect for that cozy warm artsy feeling haha!

Maddie

Weekly Recap

Okay, so this week was a bit of a blur to me! It went bye really fast and was filled with so many different emotions. in my last post I talked about how crazy confused I am about my "diet"/lifestyle, and looking at it now I feel kind of stupid about it.

I've talked to so many different bloggers about this, and I even got in touch with Jordan from the Balanced Blonde (formerly the Blonde Vegan). If any of you know her blog, you know that she was a very strict vegan until last year when she came out about her eating disorder. She has a huuuuge following, and for her to be able to get back to the email I sent her made me absolutely ecstatic. And the email was long and loving and so so amazing, and basically saved me from going into a deep whole of another disorder. I basically told her I'm totally lost with what to do about my disorder, meaning if I should try these certain lifestyles like high carb or high fat. Jordan answered perfectly that I know deep down doing these fad diets not only cause me more of a restrictive mindset, but also inner competition. It's hard to explain but she did so well.

So anyway, I'm not going on a high carb diet. I had low energy, and I'm getting signals from my body that it wasn't working, like my thinning hair and dry skin. Basically I need to get back to the way I was eating, but more. Which brings me to my next point, my calories and fitness. I'm taking a two week break from exercise, which if you know me is totally unheard of. I haven't taken that long of a break for over a year. It's crazy but its true. I read another blog post from Emma D Fitness, and she basically has the same story as me. She lost her period, restricted her food, and became obsessed with healthy food and overexercising. ME. She explained in her post that she had come to the realization in the midst of her eating disorder that what she was doing to her body was absolutely pointless. She was obsessed with having abs 24/7 (guilty) and always pushing herself to her limits (guilty again). She knew she had to gain body fat because she had none in order to get her period back, and to do this she needed to up her calories and stop working out for the time being. To make this story shorter, she did, despite being addicted, stop exercising for 2 weeks and majorly ate more. She didn't gain a ton of weight funnily enough, but she did get her period back. And that was the beginning of her recovery. And I've come to the realization that that's what I have to do too. It's so hard for me not to exercise or at least do yoga everyday, but I HAVE to get my body back to normal. I'm sick of being so thin and tired all the time. For what? I miss my old body, where I was strong and ready to do anything all the time. I miss my thick hair and strong nails..

So yep. Starting today I'm eating a lot more, especially fats. I'm not going to exercise for at least a week or two, and we're gonna see where this goes. It's like I'm starting over on my health and fitness journey. It's time for me to get my body back in order, because I'm almost 18 and I'm 20 pounds underweight. Not good.

That's my crazy week for ya! It's been very cold and rainy every single day, which I love, but don't get me wrong I'm constantly feeling like an icicle. Most days after school I've been bundled up reading blogs and catching up on youtube videos ;)

Here's to the beginning of my new journey, day one.

Have a good weekend <3

Maddie

I'm Vegan, Now What?

So I've been kind of on the down low when it comes to food posts, because to tell you the truth I've been going through a really hard time lately. I haven't been sure if I wanted to share all of what I'm feeling, but after thinking about it this is where I share everything and I'm going to just spill everything right now.

As some of you may know, I'm vegan. I could also say I'm gluten free, processed sugar free, you know the works. Basically I only eat fruits, veggies, and plants haha. I don't know when it started, probably a couple weeks ago, but I was constantly looking at new food accounts on instagram of girls who are my age that went through eating disorders and healed themselves with going high carb low fat vegan. I have seen this before but I never really thought anything of it, and I just kind of kept it in the back of my mind. When I look at some of these posts, its smoothies with like 6 bananas plus dates, or a huge potato with endless amounts of veggies, or meals of 10 mangoes. For some reason, I got the urge to want to try this lifestyle. After all, I'm going through an eating disorder right now, trying to recover, so if these girls were able to heal themselves with this kind of lifestyle, why couldn't I? I realized that there are different kind of high carb diets. Some consist of eating raw meals/fruits all day and then a cooked meal of starches at night. Or some you can just eat all the carbs you want all day, like oats, rice, potatoes, fruits and veggies. 

For the past week, I've had nothing but carbs. I've eaten plenty of sweet potatoes with veggies, tons of oatmeal, fruit fruit fruit…And this morning I had my first smoothie with 2 bananas. Which is a lot for me, coming from someone who restricted. To tell you the truth, I feel good. I'm never bloated and my skin and body feel amazing. But it's all becoming a bit too much for me. I feel like I'm becoming overwhelmed with everything and I don't even know how to explain it. I know I'm trying to recover from my eating disorder, and so far I have been getting more calories in because I've been eating more starches, but I don't know if I can switch over to a lifestyle like this, at least not now. I'm pretty sure my mom has noticed that I've changed my eating habits the past week, and I don't think she would be on board with me eating like this, at least not at first. A lot of the girls I've talked to about their past eating disorders said eating this way helped them gain the weight they needed back, but my gut is telling me that might not work for me. I don't know, like I said I feel like I'm thinking in 10 different directions. Today though, since I did have my first "big" smoothie, I feel sort of bloated. And I had another huuuge sweet potato at lunch today. And last night, I had made some granola with grated apple and maple syrup, and since I was so hungry because it was late in the day, I ate a lot of it and felt full and bloated a bit. I don't know if it's all in my head, or nerves or if this way of eating really isn't right for me. I've only been eating like this for 6 or 7 days so I can't just say it doesn't work, but I think I might have to put this on hold. After all, if I really did want to switch to this kind of eating, I would still have to triple my calories at least and really know what I'm doing and how to eat these bigger meals. And its hard for me to think about that. 

I feel like I'm constantly trying to outdo myself. Eat more fruit, drink more water, exercise longer and harder, more carbs, less fat, more protein, less carbs…I feel like a yoyo. And I never thought I would be in this position. I don't want to be like those girls who constantly go from diet to diet, trying to figure out a medium. Because the way I was eating before, with nuts and seeds and less "starchy meals" I felt fine. Like I said in a previous post, I think Instagram and social media are getting the best of me and I think its time I take a little break from them. I'm constantly comparing myself to these fitness and health accounts and I know its not healthy, and its addictive. 

Sorry for this being a long ramble-y post. I just felt like I had to get it off of my chest. I don't know what to do. Do I stop this high carb thing, or do I try it and see where it takes my mental state, my weight and my overall wellbeing? Or do I go back to eating the way I was, but adding in more fats and proteins so I really gain the much needed weight back? Help :-( 

Sometimes I wish all of this was just a dream and I could wake up, without my bad eating habits, and enjoy life without constantly bringing myself down, competing 24/7.

Maddie

Daydreamin'

Lately I've been so focused and uptight about this upcoming summer, that I think it's staring to consume me a little too much. I know I shouldn't be as worried as I am about what is coming after I graduate, but when will I start to figure it out, you know? I feel like I've over thought so many things that some of what I've thought doesn't even make sense anymore, if that makes sense haha. I want so badly to get a job, blog like a real blogger, and have everything in my life just fall into place. And I know that's a lot to ask for when I'm not even 18 yet. And I guess that's social media to thank. Making it look like those perfect bloggers have their perfect lives, living out their day dream everyday. It stinks that everything takes time and patience, but then again that's the whole point of life, isn't it? To create those memories and relationships between the hard times and the journeys. 

I'm really trying hard to visualize what I want and to write down my goals, because when I used to do that when I was younger, it would always happen oddly enough. I don't know why I ever stopped that in the first place. Do any of you write down what you want to achieve, and do you find that it helps you to accomplish that goal?? 

Just daydreaming….

Maddie

iPhone Life// January

1// New Years Eve rocking some bold makeup 2// White nails 3// Beautiful morning sunrise on the first day back at school (which was kind of wimpy but this picture made the day a lot brighter! 4// Delicious Kale, roasted sweet potato, quinoa, and slivered almond salad

5// Stuck in acting class! 6// A perky little flower I spotted on a lovely walk :) 7// Bling with a fuzzy sweater always makes me happy

These are just some pictures from my instagram from the month of January so far, since it's been going bye so quickly!! I mean really it's almost over…nuts. I feel like I haven't had time to start anything because I've been worried too much about the future. I know I need to stop that and start thinking in the present moment. Ahhhhh. Right now I'm going to pick up a book at the library called "The Starch Solution" and I'm sooooo excited to read it. It's all about being on a high carb, low fat vegan lifestyle. It's nothing about losing weight or anything crazy like that, because that's definitely not something I need, but it's just about feeling balanced and whole through lots of fruits and veggies and stuff like that. Learning about food really interests me and I'll be making a lot more posts about it soon, and about my current diet and what's been on my mind :-)

Happy Wednesday!!

Maddie

Reflective Thoughts

As I sit here and eat my delicious banana oatmeal, all of the sudden I got the urge to write everything thats coming to me. I feel so good and grateful and happy and I just want everything to happen.

By that I mean all of my goals. Today I plan on creating and putting together my 2015 dream board, filled with everything I want to accomplish this year. I know I've been a bit quiet here on the blog, and thats because I've been confused. I want to make this a place where I LOVE to be, grow, share and create, and right now it's just not what I want it to be. 

All day everyday I've been thinking about the content I want to create, where I want to go with my life, different hobbies I want to pursue, and I've kind of felt like a jumbled mess! But right now in this moment, it came to me that it's okay to feel this way because thats what humans go through. It's hard to accept these annoying feelings sometimes, because it seems like everyone is always living the perfect moment, happy 24/7, and it's just not how it is. That's also another subject I really want to conquer this year: comparison. I've noticed that I've started to follow a lot more blogs and it's been kind of bringing me down. I keep thinking: "well I do it because she did it." And i've got to stop that. Ive been thinking about taking another social media break, because when I did that in September I felt better than ever, and when I came back it didn't feel so bad.

Anyway this is kind of ramble-y but that's whats going through my head. I hope everyone understands! I just want this to be the best place it can be :) I want this blog to grow with me as I do and be a place where I can look back on my life and just be grateful that I took on this path. I am feeling super motivated and energetic today to thats why it's kind of a deep one! ;)

Happy Sunday <3

Maddie

Makeup Forever HD Foundation Review

For the longest time I have been using drugstore foundations, just because they are easy to get and they're affordable. My first foundations were from Chanel, and they were definitely worth it. But I didn't feel like asking my mom to go and buy me expensive foundation over and over again so thats why I started using my L'Oreal True Match and Maybelline. For a while I loved these brands, but it seemed like after using them for so long the formula started to change and it just wasn't sitting right on my skin anymore. I had heard so much about this Makeup Forever Foundation, but for some reason I was just afraid to purchase it, I guess because I didn't want to spend a nice amount of money on something that I couldn't use.

WELL, I was lured in at the counter in Sephora and ended up purchasing it, and let me tell you, I am sooooooo glad I did. I have the shade 117, and while it's a little light, it's still the perfect match because it has my undertones, which is hard for me to find in foundations since I am light and olive-y. When I first opened it and squeezed a pump onto my hand, I immediately thought it would be too watery and light coverage. But after I applied one layer to my face, I was actually very shocked, I even dropped my jaw haha! It covered SO well, and it evened out my skin tone with just a thin layer. I love that I didn't have to add more and feel like I have a lot on my face, because even though I like full coverage I still like my skin to feel like it's able to breathe. 

Overall, it's very easy to blend out and create a nice flawless base. I use my Sigma Flattop Kabuki brush, but I'm sure it would work just as well with your fingers or a beauty blender. It lasts alllll day long which is such a big plus for me. I remember after the first day I came home from school wearing it, and it hadn't budged. 

So I'm super pumped that I finally have this foundation in my life. Have any of you tried it, or do you consider trying it after this review?

Maddie

Forever 21, H&M and Urban Outfitters Haul

This weekend I was feeling super spendy and while I kind of feel guilty, I really truly need new clothes. It's almost spring and I'm just starting to buy my winter seaters. Like?!! No. Thats not okay! Anyway, I got some money from Christmas, and I couldn't hold on to it anymore haha. So I spent about 2 hours walking around this new Forever 21 store they opened at my mall, and let me tell you, its huuuuge. It's kind of overwhelming at times, especially if you're not in the mood to shop. But I was and I was picking out certain pieces that I wouldn't normally gravitate towards. I've been trying to switch up my style or find what I really like, because I just feel a little lost. Sometimes I feel girly, other times I feel grunge/urban, sometimes I feel more casual…its kind of annoying! Does anyone have some tips on how to find your style? I need them desperately. 

I only picked up a few things, but as you can see they are all sweaters, besides the beanies. And they are all fuzzy too! I don't know whats with me. I'm excited to wear the fuzzy pink sweater, i think its girly but its edgy, and I think it would look good with my high leather boots and a statement necklace.

I'm new to beanies, but I have always wanted to wear them and incorporate them into my wardrobe, so I forced myself to buy some. I already wore the black one to school once and got many complements on how I looked with it, so that made me feel good! And that goes back to feeling more casual on some days.

Anytime I go shopping I always pick up a necklace or two, and I found these beautiful ones at Urban. It kills me to pay a little more, but cmon they are gorgeous!! And I love the one with the crescent moon, that is my absolute favorite symbol.

Well this ended up being longer than expected haha! Hope you don't mind :-) How would you style these pieces??

Maddie

It's Friday, Friday

As I'm typing this I'm eating some deliciouuuus cookie dough my mama made. It's so sweet and melt-in-your-mouth yummy and just had to share that as I reflected on my week haha! So this week school started up again, and even though it's terribly depressing that all of the holiday festiveness is over it really wasn't that bad. I got to experience my fashion class which is everything I could ask for and more, and i met some really nice girls that I've sat with at lunch for the past couple of days and it's just been really nice. It also warmed up a bit, so now I'm not FREEZING in the morning…don't get me wrong I'm still an icicle but I was able to chill out in the sun for a little while which is my favorite thing to do in the summer…agh those summer feels. I also drove to my grandmas house and stayed with her for a couple hours and we talked and reflected about a lot, and that's something i never get to do with her, so that was a nice surprise and it left me feeling really good.

That was my week! I hope everyone has something fun planned for the weekend :) How was your week?

Maddie

Favorite Trends

Ever since I switched into my fashion class at school, I've dove right into the fashion world and I'm LOVING it. I can't believe I wasn't in this class to begin with, because it's just what I wanted and needed. My teacher is working with me one on one with what I want to learn about the fashion industry, like trends, styling, and visual design/displays. It excites me so muuuuch *squeals*

So anyway, I've been reading through tons of magazines and websites and I've come across so many upcoming trends that I'm loving and I wanted to share them with you. Which ones are your favorites? I especially love the biker jacket with high-waisted pants…lately I've been feeling like a rebel and I've wanted to change up my style drastically haha! ;)

p.s. even though I'm still absolutely depressed Christmas is over, I've been dying to layout in the sun and tan and get dark again. I really miss those summer vibes. Is it too early to be saying that!?

Maddie

It's a New Year

It's a new year, and to be very openly honest, I really want to change. Not in a big way, but just improve myself. Over the last couple of months I have gone through a lot of confusion about my life, school, where and what I want to do after I graduate high school, and it all got to me. I'm still trying to ease off of myself and just let myself relax and breathe, but it takes time. 

I want to get more personal on this blog, and take it very seriously. Since my head has been anywhere but here, I feel terrible and guilty. There were some weeks where I was content and posting everyday, and over the last month or two its been every 3-5 days, and I'm not okay with that. I'm not saying I'm just gonna post something to have something go up, I want my content to be great quality that you look forward to reading. 

I want my blog to grow so much this year, and I want to DO so much this year. I want to write and achieve goals, accomplish things that scare me, and work my butt off. But at the same time, go easy on myself and tie my body a break when it needs it, because I struggled with that last year. 

The content on this blog will change a bit, I want it to be more organized. Im sort of beauty, food, lifestyle, all over the place, but I've been putting a lot of thought into it and I want to share more of what I love, like design, fashion, baking vegan things (since I am vegan haha!) and overall beauty. 

I am SO looking forward to this year. I know it's going to be amazing and filled with scary situations, but I have to get over that. Im gonna push myself, get inspired, and kick 2015's ass! ;)

Care to join me?!

Maddie

Bordeaux

This beauty of a lip gloss I picked up at Sephora a few days ago with a gift card I got for Christmas, and after walking around the store second guessing myself if I should get it, I am sooooo glad I did. It's a lip cream from Bite Beauty called "Bordeaux" and it is the most gorgeous shade of plum and burgundy. I've been looking for deep purples like this to wear on my lips because I've been feeling a little vampy lately for winter haha, so this is the perfect color. It doesn't smudge at ALL. I wore this on New Years Eve from 10 in the morning until midnight and after eating and drinking it was still purely there. I was surprised, but then again the formula is so thick and pigmented its not gonna budge. 

I also loved wearing this because its all natural, and you can basically eat it, hence the name of the brand ;) which I thought was clever! It also smells like fruit, not too overpowering, but a nice scent. 

Would you try this dark color?

Maddie