The Urge

I feel like I need to get something off of my chest. All of the sudden as I sat down I got this urge to write about what  I'm feeling right now, and since this is like my diary, I thought I would just share with you, who ever is reading this.

I'm going through a stage, or period in my life where I really want to break the heck out of my shell. I want to explore as many possibilities as I can and try my very best at things I'm passionate about. Things like blogging, design, photography, modeling, writing, music, and just creating anything in general. But, and I hate to say this, but I feel like I don't belong where I live. Where I live is small, and I personally don't think it's right for what I want to do. Somewhere I need to be is a place like California or New York...California is a lot more believable, cause New York is very expensive and across the country, but I have always seen myself living in Cali, on the beach, enjoying every second of life I can. It's the land of opportunity, where a creative weirdo like me would fit right in. I won't lie, I'm getting choked up as I'm writing this..I want to leave so badly and just start my life already...Does anyone else feel like this?? 

As hard as it will be for me to leave my mom and dad, I need to grow a backbone and realize that growing up is apart of nature and I'm gonna have to do it sometime or another. It's hard for me to imagine that I am already 17 and I will be leaving soon, not because I have to, but because I WANT to. And it's taken me a long time to figure out if I was going to or not. 

Another thing that is bothering me is getting a job. I really really really want to get one, and I really want to start making money. And I don't just want to make money for the sake of having money, but I want to earn it and show myself that I can. And, I need to start saving up a lot of it if I'm planning and dreaming of leaving the state.

I guess I could say I have a perfectly imperfect dream in my head. I know, for the most part, what I want to do, but I need to work hard to get there, to that point. Oh, and my whole school situation. That's a whole other post. It's really been keeping me up at night. Do I stay online or do I go back to a regular school?? I really miss being around people and teachers, i really do. And I keep thinking, maybe I made the wrong decision to switch over to online. Honestly I have no fricken idea. But right now I've been having a hard time with that.

Anyway, I guess this was just a random spur of the moment journal session haha. Are you guys going through anything at the moment? If you ever need someone to talk to, please never hesitate to talk to me. That's something that I love to do, is give advice and talk to people who need talking to. I hope everyone is having a great day or night :)

Maddie

Are you a #GIRLBOSS?

Okay, so this book has definitely made it's way around numerous blogs and best-seller lists, but have you picked it up yet? Honestly, I am SO glad that I started reading this in Barnes and Noble a couple weeks ago. I had heard so much about it, and so when I saw it on the shelves (there was ONE left, so I knew it was fate for me to pick it up) I grabbed it as soon as I could and whipped open the pages. 

I was able to get about 35 pages in before I had to leave, and I couldn't believe how much I liked it. I was sucked into Sophia's way with words and how she makes her story seem so relatable. I really, reaalllly wanted to buy the book that night, but my mom promised me she would get it for me off of Amazon, and fast forward to this monday, and it came in the mail!

So anyway, I've pretty much finished the book. Not entirely, I probably have 50 pages or so left, but WOW. I can't even begin to tell you how influencing this book is. It's making me literally want to get off my ass and start an empire. From the beginning of the book, Sophia makes it clear that she started from rock bottom, like no house or money or food rock bottom. Then, she kind of skips around in the book from different jobs she's had, to what decisions ultimately created the multimillion dollar company she has today. When reading what she's gone through, or some of the stupid decisions she's made, and her thoughts and feelings on certain things, it makes me feel so much more confident in myself to know that everyone is afraid of something. Not everyone knows what they want to do, and not everyone is willing to work for something they want. That's why Sophia is where she is today, because she decided that after not giving a crap about her work life (you'll have to read the book), she made a change with her attitude and her outlook on life and finally set out to do something. 

She also makes it very clear numerous times throughout the book that she has worked her ass off. And that when being a #GIRLBOSS, you should too. It's not always putting pressure on yourself, but mentally making changes in your behavior. Like doing something everyday to get closer to a goal. Or giving 100% percent at a job, even if you might not enjoy it. This book is filled with so many inspiring chapters, and it's definitely a must-read for anybody willing to chase after something they want. 

It's definitely planted a seed in my head!! :) I'm sad I'm almost done reading it, but so excited to begin different projects I've wanted to do. 

Are you going to pick up this book and become a #GIRLBOSS with me?

xx,

Maddie