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Today I just felt like rambling a bit, so there’s your warning.

Some days I’ll feel on top of the world, like I can do anything and be anything I want to. I will feel strong and powerful and confident. I’ll imagine myself surrounded by great people and wonderful things.

And then on some days, I’ll feel small and weak and not very happy or joyous or grateful. I really hate feeling this way but it just happens.

I was walking around my school campus at lunch and I was thinking about myself and situations I put myself into. There are a couple of nice girls I’ve wanted to talk to for months now, and I haven’t. Because I feel nervous and unaccepted. I feel like they’ll think I’m boring and not “cool” or too shy and quiet. Yes I am like this, but once I get to know someone I have a hard time being serious and shutting up. That’s just me. It’s like I’m afraid to talk…and let people in on my thoughts. I haven’t had a real genuine friend for 4 years. So it’s kind of like I’ve forgotten what having a friend feels like. I’m a Gemini for crying out loud I have MULTIPLE personalities. That I can definitely believe.

Well while I was walking around, one of those girls noticed me and stopped me and welcomed me to sit with her and her friend at lunch. Like, it’s like she read my mind. Did I manifest this?? I believe so. It’s all I’ve been thinking about, making friends and having people to talk to.

How do I get over this anxiety of talking to people and approaching them?? Do I sit down and tell them the truth that I’ve been wanting to talk to them for MONTHS? I really want to, and what would be so bad about that anyway? Obviously they’ve noticed me too… I don’t know. I feel like I’m going bit crazy.

I also haven’t gone to get my job application yet at the store I want. Well, it kind of took me a little while to figure out I need to be in retail, and the store that would be awesome to work in is Urban Outfitters. They WERE hiring for seasonal employees a couple weeks ago, and since I got sick I wasn’t able to go. I really really REALLLLY hope they’re still hiring, because it would be a miracle if they were. Getting into retail would be amazing for the school I want to go to and the field I want to be in. the weeks have been going bye so quickly and I’ve had little things come up. I just feel like I’ve pushed it off to the side and I shouldn’t have.

Anyway, it’s been a long week at school. Everyday I have to stay after 4 extra hours for acting rehearsals, but since I’m not in the play I’ve been doing nothing. The first two days were pretty long, tiring, and boring. But I have to say, the last two days were a lot better…I’ve been getting to talk to more of the girls and get to know them, and all of us have just gotten closer. It’s so cool that I’m actually enjoying parts of this school haha. Weird!!!! ;)

I really want to leave this on a happy note. SO, I’m so excited that I decorated my Christmas tree and made more cookies haha. Pictures to come!! ;)

*ps due to my long days at school I haven’t had any time to do anything at home so that’s why theres been nothing on the blog this week so I'm very sad about that but it will get better soon!

Maddie

I'm Thankful for...

I have to be honest, I've been going through a rough patch with coming up with blog ideas. Ever since school started, it has been a bit hard to manage this blog, school work, and other activities I have going on. It makes me appreciate all of the bloggers out there who work their butts off to create such amazing content. It blows my mind how they are able to do so much at a time and still put their all into their blogs. Some days I'll have a bunch of ideas I'll be able to do something with, and other days I'm staring aimlessly at my computer screen just waiting for something to spark. 

After sitting on my bed for a little while I grabbed an old journal of mine where I started to collect my future goals and blog/youtube ideas, and after reading through a couple of pages I just smiled and felt SO much better. Looking through those pages made me realize that I really do have a passion for this, I just needed some reminding. I think like a lot of other people, life gets in the way and sometimes when we start to compare ourselves to others we just want to stop everything and curl up in a ball in our beds haha! 

Anyway, it just got me thinking I am SO thankful for where I am today. Mentally, physically. I am so thankful for the school I'm attending, the yoga classes I'm taking (which by the way are completely life changing), the pure healthy food I eat, my soft cozy bed and sheets. Im thankful for my outstanding parents who always go out of their way to help me with whatever I need...I could go on and on. I'm thankful for the beautiful weather I walk in after dinner, the amazing hot pink and purple sunset I get to witness every night. I'm thankful for my amazing camera I was able to purchase for my birthday, all of my wonderful makeup i'm addicted to! ;) Hahaha 

So overall I think I just needed a little reminder of why I started this blog in the first place. I love to write, I have a passion for a bunch of different things, and I like to speak about my thoughts towards them. I love getting to know people online, and I love social media and branding too. When I first discovered 'blogging' and 'graphic design' a couple years ago, I was SO fascinated, and now years later I still am and I hope to have a job that involves all of the details I just listed :)

I'm so thankful for YOU reading this! :)

Maddie

Social Media Break

So for the past two months I've taken a break from social media. Meaning I haven't checked twitter or instagram ONCE! This is a very big deal for me because I was kind of addicted to it, badly. As soon as I would open my eyes after my alarm went off, I would reach right for my phone and check twitter, then instagram, and maybe pinterest. I would go on with my day and check it periodically. And then before I went to bed (meaning lying under my covers in the dark) I would scroll endlessly for over an hour before I even shut my eyes. I noticed that I was starting to not even care what I was reading, but I was just addicted to checking the apps. So without even making it a goal or anything, I just stopped checking it for good. And surprisingly, it didn't phase me at all. Since August 17th, I haven't checked twitter or instagram up until today, and I'm not even upset or agitated by it. I feel like I haven't really missed out on anything and it's helped me to realize I won't die without these sites!

Basically, I was able to wake up more peacefully, and have an extra 30 minutes or so to do something else, in my case meditate and do yoga before I exercise in the morning. And before bed, I make a nice cup of warm tea now and grab a magazine or a book and get inspired that way. And I LOVE it. Even though I want to be a blogger and social media is a part of the job, it's always nice to take a cleanse and realize what's most important. 

So I think I want to check my feeds regularly again, but not the way I was before, because you know I still like to keep up to date with the people I follow! ;) And if you're not totally addicted instagram and twitter are very creative and inspiring apps, especially to us writers/bloggers/designers.

Have you ever gone on a 'social media cleanse?'

Maddie

The Secrets of Blogging Tag

Happy Wednesday everyone! Hang in there the week is halfway over ;) Anyway, I was tagged by Victoria to do the Secrets of Blogging Tag. If you want to see my answers then just keep reading!

1. When did you start blogging and why?

I started blogging over a year ago, but I was a confused mess. I didn't know what to create or put out there, and I felt scared to do absolutely anything. I put a few posts up here and there but nothing to keep readers, and I didn't even like what I was posting! I started properly blogging in May of this year because I love to write and I have been reading blogs for a couple of years now. It just felt like the right time :)

2. How many people in real life know about your blog?

Only my parents. It's kind of weird but that doesn't bother me. I don't want any of my other family members to know about it because, I don't know how to say this any other way, but they are crazy and whacked.  And I'm just starting to make friends at my new school, so I don't plan on bringing up my blog just yet.

3. What are your favorite posts to read? 

I love reading all different kinds of posts. Fashion, beauty, lifestyle, interior design...It all depends on my mood!

4. List a blog you've recently discovered. 

Galadarling.com --it's all about self-worth and making the most out of everything!

5. What post are you most proud of? 

That one is kind of hard. I haven't been blogging for THAT long, so I can't pick from a ton. I really like my food posts and my inspiration boards :)

6. What advice would you give to future bloggers? 

Write about what you love, and never force anything, because in the end you won't like it and you won't get readers to like it either. What you put out comes back so put out passion and love and it will come back!

That's it! I'm tagging:

In Katie's Corner

Love, Ashley Christina 

Willow Tea

Have a beautiful day!! :)

Maddie