Weekly Recap

1// As I said in this post, I enrolled into an online business/marketing school and I am so FREAKIN EXCITED

2// In my acting class at school, I was cast as Beth for our "Little Women" show. She is a character that ends up passing away lol, but I'm still thrilled I've got a semi-big part!

3// I hit 700 followers AND 800 followers on Instagram. God I freakin love you guys :)

4// I had kind of a crying breakdown about my eating disorder, because I've just been having a rough time. As easy as it may seem to recover on the outside, it's like prison on the inside. But, my mom came in my room and hugged and talked to me for at least an hour and made everything better…she's the best.

5// Lately I've been doing a lot more yoga and flexibility routines, and I've noticed such a difference!! I'm getting more flexible, stronger, and I can even transition into backbends and wheels :D 

The weeks have been going bye so fast and I can barely keep up…like it's MARCH. WHAT?? I'll be graduating high school in 2 months…gulp.

Have a lovely weekend xx

25 Facts About Me

1. I've lived in Arizona, United States my whole life

2. No, I don't like it here so I'm hoping to move to Cali in the upcoming years

3. I'm turning 18 on May 27th ;)

4. I've been vegan for a year now-woohoo!

5. I'm a gemini, and boy do I act like one

6. I've been told by many of my teachers that I 'have a gift for writing'

7. I've never really been one to have a bunch of friends, only a couple of really close ones :)

8. I find Numerology and Astrology very fascinating

9. I'm a die-hard yogi, self-taught, and trying to practice as much as possible

10. I must say I make killer vegan desserts

11. I suffer from anorexia/orthorexia/over-exercising but I am in the midst of recovery <3

12. I spend way too many nights laying in my bed scrolling through Instagram accounts and talking to new people ;)

13. Although I'm not properly Buddhist, I practice that lifestyle

14. My style is allllwayyss changing, whether it comes to fashion, hair, lifestyle…

15. My dream is to do what I love and make a career out of it, and be able to financially support myself while traveling all over the world

16. Paris, London, Rome, and Australia are just a few of the places I want to live and visit

17. Every morning I wake up at 5:15 and work out before school

18. Even though I'm an early bird, I find that I get lots of my creative juices flowing in the middle of the night

19. My favorite season is Summer, where I can literally lay in the sun all day and turn a dark golden color haha!

20. Some days I love to go all out and dress up, and other days you can find me curled up in sweats

21. I really wish I knew how to use my Canon DLSR camera correctly-I'm kind of intimidated by it

22. I would love for this blog to grow into a full-time job for me <3

23. Even though I'm turning 18, I feel like a 12 year old most days. 

24. I love saving all the magazines I read, and ripping and tearing out pictures from them and making mood/inspiration boards

25. I spend a lot of my free time on the internet, searching/writing/reading blogs and videos, but it's the best thing that has happened to me

I feel like I could write more but would that be boring?? Haha--basically I'm just a girl who is shy at first and then once I get to know you I can't really shut up. I talk too much about vegan food and I love to instastalk people on a regular basis. I'm an art freak who loves to dance wildly to loud music and also stay in on the weekends and bake cookies with my mom :) Traveling the world is something that I'm made to do and I can't wait to be able to share my adventures <3

Favorite Vegan Tumblr Blogs

Essena

Clean Body Fresh Start

EarthlingMaxi

TessBegg

I've been spending waaaaaay too much time on Tumblr, but as a result I have found, followed, and friended these amazing vegan blogs. I don't know how but I think they are all from Australia, but they are so relatable and just like me. We're all around the same age, we have the same beliefs, and the fact that I'm able to make friends with people around the world is so so cool to me. I love catching up on what kind of meals they create, what exercises they love and find efficient and stuff like that. Sorry if that seems weird but it's what I'm into haha! ;D And what I love most about these blogs is that they promote healthy body image and wholesome eating and fitness, none of that barely eating crap. I think it's so amazing that there are more and more young girls coming out about the right way to eat and the right way to feel and look your best. I've also been obsessed with watching their youtube videos too xx

Check them out if you're interested :-)

Bohemian Mood Board

For the past I don't know week or so, I've been reaaaally into the whole bohemian vibe/style…I've been doing a lot more yoga which causes me to get closer to myself and my thoughts, and for some reason I've been changing a lot haha! Might sound weird but I feel like when I do yoga, I get more connected to who I really am, without comparing myself to everyone else, especially on social media and blogs. Sometimes I forget what I really like, you know? My whole life, and especially being a teenager, I've always been into this bohemian style. The stacked bracelets, lace, light flowy clothes, gorgeous dewy makeup, i LOVE it. All of these pictures are what have been going through my mind lately, and I love how it turned out :) I really want to get those gold temporary tattoos, have any of you tried them?? I think once I get tan enough (which might take a while) I think i'll try some because they are gorgeous. Which reminds me, I'm really missing summer…like a lot. I think I'm over feeling like a frozen human all the time, and the dark cold mornings…am I right?!

I hoop everyone is having a great February so far!! When did that happen?! 

Maddie

Weekly Recap

Okay, so this week was a bit of a blur to me! It went bye really fast and was filled with so many different emotions. in my last post I talked about how crazy confused I am about my "diet"/lifestyle, and looking at it now I feel kind of stupid about it.

I've talked to so many different bloggers about this, and I even got in touch with Jordan from the Balanced Blonde (formerly the Blonde Vegan). If any of you know her blog, you know that she was a very strict vegan until last year when she came out about her eating disorder. She has a huuuuge following, and for her to be able to get back to the email I sent her made me absolutely ecstatic. And the email was long and loving and so so amazing, and basically saved me from going into a deep whole of another disorder. I basically told her I'm totally lost with what to do about my disorder, meaning if I should try these certain lifestyles like high carb or high fat. Jordan answered perfectly that I know deep down doing these fad diets not only cause me more of a restrictive mindset, but also inner competition. It's hard to explain but she did so well.

So anyway, I'm not going on a high carb diet. I had low energy, and I'm getting signals from my body that it wasn't working, like my thinning hair and dry skin. Basically I need to get back to the way I was eating, but more. Which brings me to my next point, my calories and fitness. I'm taking a two week break from exercise, which if you know me is totally unheard of. I haven't taken that long of a break for over a year. It's crazy but its true. I read another blog post from Emma D Fitness, and she basically has the same story as me. She lost her period, restricted her food, and became obsessed with healthy food and overexercising. ME. She explained in her post that she had come to the realization in the midst of her eating disorder that what she was doing to her body was absolutely pointless. She was obsessed with having abs 24/7 (guilty) and always pushing herself to her limits (guilty again). She knew she had to gain body fat because she had none in order to get her period back, and to do this she needed to up her calories and stop working out for the time being. To make this story shorter, she did, despite being addicted, stop exercising for 2 weeks and majorly ate more. She didn't gain a ton of weight funnily enough, but she did get her period back. And that was the beginning of her recovery. And I've come to the realization that that's what I have to do too. It's so hard for me not to exercise or at least do yoga everyday, but I HAVE to get my body back to normal. I'm sick of being so thin and tired all the time. For what? I miss my old body, where I was strong and ready to do anything all the time. I miss my thick hair and strong nails..

So yep. Starting today I'm eating a lot more, especially fats. I'm not going to exercise for at least a week or two, and we're gonna see where this goes. It's like I'm starting over on my health and fitness journey. It's time for me to get my body back in order, because I'm almost 18 and I'm 20 pounds underweight. Not good.

That's my crazy week for ya! It's been very cold and rainy every single day, which I love, but don't get me wrong I'm constantly feeling like an icicle. Most days after school I've been bundled up reading blogs and catching up on youtube videos ;)

Here's to the beginning of my new journey, day one.

Have a good weekend <3

Maddie

It's a New Year

It's a new year, and to be very openly honest, I really want to change. Not in a big way, but just improve myself. Over the last couple of months I have gone through a lot of confusion about my life, school, where and what I want to do after I graduate high school, and it all got to me. I'm still trying to ease off of myself and just let myself relax and breathe, but it takes time. 

I want to get more personal on this blog, and take it very seriously. Since my head has been anywhere but here, I feel terrible and guilty. There were some weeks where I was content and posting everyday, and over the last month or two its been every 3-5 days, and I'm not okay with that. I'm not saying I'm just gonna post something to have something go up, I want my content to be great quality that you look forward to reading. 

I want my blog to grow so much this year, and I want to DO so much this year. I want to write and achieve goals, accomplish things that scare me, and work my butt off. But at the same time, go easy on myself and tie my body a break when it needs it, because I struggled with that last year. 

The content on this blog will change a bit, I want it to be more organized. Im sort of beauty, food, lifestyle, all over the place, but I've been putting a lot of thought into it and I want to share more of what I love, like design, fashion, baking vegan things (since I am vegan haha!) and overall beauty. 

I am SO looking forward to this year. I know it's going to be amazing and filled with scary situations, but I have to get over that. Im gonna push myself, get inspired, and kick 2015's ass! ;)

Care to join me?!

Maddie

Bordeaux

This beauty of a lip gloss I picked up at Sephora a few days ago with a gift card I got for Christmas, and after walking around the store second guessing myself if I should get it, I am sooooo glad I did. It's a lip cream from Bite Beauty called "Bordeaux" and it is the most gorgeous shade of plum and burgundy. I've been looking for deep purples like this to wear on my lips because I've been feeling a little vampy lately for winter haha, so this is the perfect color. It doesn't smudge at ALL. I wore this on New Years Eve from 10 in the morning until midnight and after eating and drinking it was still purely there. I was surprised, but then again the formula is so thick and pigmented its not gonna budge. 

I also loved wearing this because its all natural, and you can basically eat it, hence the name of the brand ;) which I thought was clever! It also smells like fruit, not too overpowering, but a nice scent. 

Would you try this dark color?

Maddie

Hello 2015

Here's to new beginnings!!! Gosh I can't believe its a new year, a fresh start. I'm so glad I get to start everything over sort of haha, 2014 was a crazy year for me. It was filled with so many different emotions; confusion, loneliness, joy…but in the end its all worth it. I started public school again and even though I was considering going back to online, I stuck through it and now I love it. I've met some really good friends, I've discovered things about myself, and I've learned so so much this past year. So much about well being and happiness and the universe…its crazy.

I just want to take a second to thank everyone reading this. This is my little part of the internet, my own separate world, and I get to share whatever I want to. Not enough, and not well enough either. This year, I want my blog to grow enormously. I want to post frequently and post things that truly mean something to me. I want to broaden my comfort zone and try new things with writing and creating. Im going to push myself to do whatever I can to become a better blogger, writer, creator, photographer, you name it. 

I went through a lot this year but its all in the past now. I have a feeling like 2015 is going to be absolutely amazing, mostly because I'm graduating high school and frankly I don't even know whats coming up yet. So its scary, but so fricken exciting at the same time :)

So this is the look I wore on NYE, I felt like going all out haha! I went for a very sparkly dramatic eye, and very very dark purple lips. All of the colors on my eyes were from the Naked 2 Palette, I used Verve on my lid, YDK on my outer lid and blackout in my crease. I also smudged it under my eye and blended it with my L'oreal eyeliner kajal, which I put in both my tight line and waterline. Then for my winged liner I used my Maybelline Master Precise liquid liner, which I love and use almost everyday for my wings. And my favorite part of the look, the lips :D I went to Sephora and picked up the Bite Beauty Cashemere Lip Creme in "Bordeaux" (review coming soon). So far its absolutely gorgeous and looks so dramatic and deep haha. 

How was everyone's New Year's (Eve)? Tell me all about it!! I hope you have such a great start to the new year, and I wish you best of luck for everything, and good, positive vibes :) I love you guys!!

Happy New Year!

Maddie

What I Got For Christmas 2014

As I said in an earlier post, I'm definitely feeling the post Christmas blues. Our Christmas tree is even looking a little brown and crispy which makes me even sadder haha. We're gonna try and keep it for as long as we can, but i don't think it will be long before the ornaments start to fall off!

Anyway, I'm writing this to share what I got for Christmas, if the title didn't already give it away ;) This year I actually wasn't even going to create a Christmas list. I feel like every year as I've gotten older, I haven't felt the need to ask for much..I don't know why but thats just whats happening. I'm currently redecorating my room, so that was part of my present anyway. I asked my mom if I could get all new furniture from IKEA and other stores and just some shopping money, and she said thats fine if you're okay with that, and I am! My mom just felt bad because she wanted me to have presents to open under the tree, and I get it. It's always nice to have some gifts to open, but that doesn't really matter to me anymore. If I get to pick out things I want, that is completely fine with me. So today, my mom and I are headed to IKEA to purchase the pieces I want and I'm soooo excited :) I've wanted to do this for months and I'm so glad I finally get to do it. 

Along with the furniture, my mom also got me some really cool acrylic storage bins for my makeup and desk area, which I'm obsessed with. She also got me a fluffy pillow to go with the other new pillows on my bed, and an amaaaazing (faux) fur throw/blanket and it keeps me so so warm haha. I wasn't expecting this, but she also gave me 3 sephora gift cards, and I'm not gonna lie I did let out a tiny squeal when I opened them. I can't wait to go and spend them!

I got other little things like a really nice yoga mat, workout clothes, a beautiful Paris 2015 calendar, the updated Teen Vogue Handbook, my favorite chocolate, new pjs..and something my mom does every year is make us "coupons" or little pieces of paper with certain things like "Good for a shopping trip" and "good for new shoes". I got a couple of those which made me super happy. As I've gotten older, my mom doesn't know my style very well so she can't get me clothes or shoes anymore, so that's what she started doing haha!

So as you can see its sort of all about my room this year, and I'm perfectly fine with that. I got some really cute amazing gifts, and now I get to put my room together! So I'm really thankful and happy, I had such a great Christmas.

What are some of the things you received? Or your favorite present? I don't think I can choose, but probably being able to buy the things I want from IKEA :)

Maddie

Christmas Withdrawls

All of the excitement, the build up, the shopping stress, now it's all over. I have to say every year I always get pretty sad and depressed haha. Doesn't everyone?! My Christmas was very magical and amazing, I woke up right before 6 and heard my little brother rustling through his presents, so I put on my fluffy slippers and robe and joined him to stare at our beautiful tree. That has to be one of my favorite parts of the morning, is just staring at the ornaments, the glistening lights, and the beautiful packages under it :-)

My brothers and I always wait for our parents to get up before we open our presents, its just a tradition we started a long time ago. I'll make my parents fresh coffee and we'll turn on christmas music or the parades. We opened our gifts and had such a great time.

Then my mom and I turned into super mode and we cleaned up the house for the guests that we were having over for dinner haha! There really wasn't that much to clean but making the house spotless was a must. 

The rest of the day was filled with cooking and eating and resting. I made a marvelous tray of roasted veggies, sweet potatoes, and cranberry sauce. Mmmmm gosh I could eat it all again I swear. Then after our guests left and I cleaned up the kitchen, I took a nice long shower, put on my new pjs and snuggled up on the couch and watched some youtube, with some cookies of course!! 

Christmas is always such a special day of the year and its sad that it comes and goes so quickly. It seems like we just put up all our decorations! I'll share what I got in a post coming soon ;)

How was your Christmas if you celebrated? I want to hear all about it!! 

Maddie

Counting Down

There's only 8 more nights until Christmas morning.

I only have 2 more final tests to take.

Which means only two more days of school.

Which means I will finally be on Christmas break.

Which means I can do whatevvvverrr I want!

These last few days have been crazy. I can't wait until everything slows down and I can finally enjoy wintertime and the Christmassy feeling in the air.

Oh and did I mention I haven't done any Christmas shopping?

Nope. Not one gift. I mean honestly?!

But school has been going good. I have a little group of friends now, which I can't believe. The one girl that asked to walk with me during lunch introduced me to her friends and now we sit together and talk. It really has changed my time there a lot, I feel happier and everything. So that's good :)

What is everyone up to? I feel so out of the loop.

I think I might make a batch of cookies and some tea and try to relax.

Maddie

The Christmas Tag

Guys there's only 10 days until Christmas. Like what. I'm not prepared, at all. I haven't done any shopping, I've got finals to do, and I have been so busy with school, and did I mention I got a 24 hour cold/flu virus again? Literally what is wrong with me haha. I'm sorry I haven't posted much, like I said I wasn't home at all last week which really threw my whole schedule off. But thats over so everything should get back to normal. I found this tag from Alphabeth and really loved reading it, so I wanted to do it. Christmas is the beeeeest time of year and this made me really happy. So you're probably like okay let's read your answers already, lol!

1. What is your favourite Christmas Movie?

Probably Elf, or the Santa Claus movies with Tim Allen

2. Do you open presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning?

My brothers and I have always always always opened our presents on Christmas morning. We usually wake up incredibly early, dig through our stockings, and wait for our parents to get up

3. Do you have a favourite Christmas memory?

Hmmm, when I think of Christmas I think of being with my family having cozy movie nights in, eating homemade chocolate chip cookies and watching Christmas movies :)

4. Favourite festive food?

I eat this all year round anyway, but I love roasted sweet potato

5. Favourite Christmas gift?

I don't think I could choose! I remember many Christmas mornings when I cried because I was so happy. I loved when I got my first iPod, or my beautiful vanity in my room, my antique typewriter…i can't choose!

6. Favourite Christmas scent?

I have so many…i love cookies in the oven, cinnamon spice, apple pie, pumpkin pie…lol

7. Do you have any Christmas Eve traditions?

Every Christmas Eve night, my mom and I bake cookies, everyone gathers in the living room on the floor/couches with blankets and pillows, and we watch The Polar Express before we go to bed :)

8. What tops your tree?

It depends, this year it's a star, last year it was an angel!

9. As a kid what was the one (crazy, wild, extravagant) you always asked for but never received?

I don't really remember asking for anything crazy. I was always a good little girl so I got the stuff i wanted most of the time haha! ;)

10. What's the best part about Christmas for you?Definitely just feeling grateful about having everything I have in my life. I love being with my family, decorating the house, creating delicious holiday recipes, going to see Christmas lights around town, having fires in the backyard with blankets and smores, playing Christmas music loudly through the house..so many things!

Well now you know how I get on with Christmas. I would love to read your answers to these, so I tag whoever is reading this! Leave your links below :-)


Have a great Monday!

Maddie

Let's Chat

Today I just felt like rambling a bit, so there’s your warning.

Some days I’ll feel on top of the world, like I can do anything and be anything I want to. I will feel strong and powerful and confident. I’ll imagine myself surrounded by great people and wonderful things.

And then on some days, I’ll feel small and weak and not very happy or joyous or grateful. I really hate feeling this way but it just happens.

I was walking around my school campus at lunch and I was thinking about myself and situations I put myself into. There are a couple of nice girls I’ve wanted to talk to for months now, and I haven’t. Because I feel nervous and unaccepted. I feel like they’ll think I’m boring and not “cool” or too shy and quiet. Yes I am like this, but once I get to know someone I have a hard time being serious and shutting up. That’s just me. It’s like I’m afraid to talk…and let people in on my thoughts. I haven’t had a real genuine friend for 4 years. So it’s kind of like I’ve forgotten what having a friend feels like. I’m a Gemini for crying out loud I have MULTIPLE personalities. That I can definitely believe.

Well while I was walking around, one of those girls noticed me and stopped me and welcomed me to sit with her and her friend at lunch. Like, it’s like she read my mind. Did I manifest this?? I believe so. It’s all I’ve been thinking about, making friends and having people to talk to.

How do I get over this anxiety of talking to people and approaching them?? Do I sit down and tell them the truth that I’ve been wanting to talk to them for MONTHS? I really want to, and what would be so bad about that anyway? Obviously they’ve noticed me too… I don’t know. I feel like I’m going bit crazy.

I also haven’t gone to get my job application yet at the store I want. Well, it kind of took me a little while to figure out I need to be in retail, and the store that would be awesome to work in is Urban Outfitters. They WERE hiring for seasonal employees a couple weeks ago, and since I got sick I wasn’t able to go. I really really REALLLLY hope they’re still hiring, because it would be a miracle if they were. Getting into retail would be amazing for the school I want to go to and the field I want to be in. the weeks have been going bye so quickly and I’ve had little things come up. I just feel like I’ve pushed it off to the side and I shouldn’t have.

Anyway, it’s been a long week at school. Everyday I have to stay after 4 extra hours for acting rehearsals, but since I’m not in the play I’ve been doing nothing. The first two days were pretty long, tiring, and boring. But I have to say, the last two days were a lot better…I’ve been getting to talk to more of the girls and get to know them, and all of us have just gotten closer. It’s so cool that I’m actually enjoying parts of this school haha. Weird!!!! ;)

I really want to leave this on a happy note. SO, I’m so excited that I decorated my Christmas tree and made more cookies haha. Pictures to come!! ;)

*ps due to my long days at school I haven’t had any time to do anything at home so that’s why theres been nothing on the blog this week so I'm very sad about that but it will get better soon!

Maddie

To the Top// Weekend Recap

So I climbed a mountain yesterday, and this is the view from the top. Can you even believe it? I've wanted to climb this mountain for years and just never got around to it. On a whim, my mom said hey let's just go. So OF COURSE i hopped right in the car. When we got there, I was a little intimidated, because it's literally a mountain that is SOOO steep, but breathless and sore I got to the top. It is SO worth it. The way up was actually pretty cool, it's basically like rock climbing. There were lots of huge rocks and stairs too. Basically, I am so grateful that I was able to get this shot. Standing at the top after an hour of climbing is a pretty incredible thing to feel. If you have anything like this where you live, definitely do it, even if you're afraid to try it. After finishing you feel on top of the world :)

This weekend was pretty fun. We had a family friend come out from California for a few days. We basically hung out the first night and I made some of my special vegan cookies that were devoured haha! ANNNNND we got a beautiful christmas tree!! I am so excited to decorate it, it smells amazing and it's finally starting to feel like Christmas to me. My dad put up all our decorations outside and we even had a fire going outside :) ahhhh that cozy holiday feeling is the best haha. 

This week at school I've got to stay an extra 4 hours after for acting :( Not looking forward to it….but I guess I have to suck it up and just do it. This is mostly what our grade will consist of, so I don't really have a choice to miss it or not.

I hope everyone had a great weekend and an amazing start to a new week :)

Anything fun happen to you over the weekend?

Maddie

School is Cool?

Okay so today…at school…I actually enjoyed myself. I had a good time, and I felt happy. Am I really typing this? Yep I am. And today during lunch, two girls, really nice girls, came up to me and sat with me. And we talked, and it was SO nice. I don't know why this is happening, but I have a feeling its because I've changed my way of thinking dramatically. I don't wake up depressed and mopey anymore, I wake up energized and ready to conquer my day. Instead of walking with my head pointed towards the ground, now I walk and smile to someone who looks at me. It's so refreshing, and almost insane that I got stuck in that rut to where I almost didn't care if I was happy or not. I have to say, it's weird that I'm enjoying school more. I've prayed to the universe to help guide me in the right direction, because I've felt very lost. And I'm starting to feel okay with that. I know I need to relax and understand that I'm young and I don't need to plan out my life right now. But I'm the type of person that likes plans, so. I've got to work on that. I've prayed to make friends, and to get a job, ad I really have a lot of faith that everything is going to fall into place. I know it takes time, I just want it all to happen quickly. 

So this was a post I never really thought I'd write haha! Surprised but very happy. And I'm so happy that I can be in this mood around Christmas time because well this is the most wonderful time of year :)

I love you all so much just so you know, and I hope you're having an amazing day or night whenever you're reading this <3

Maddie

Weekly Recap

Where did this week gooooooo. Gosh and I'm really sorry I've kind of been slacking here. It's killing me. Since it was my first week back at school it's been a little crazy around here. Honestly these three days at school felt like a couple of weeks haha! Anyway I had a pretty good week, yesterday I also went to a college event for FIDM (Fashion Institute for Design and Merchandising in California), which is my DREAM school. I absolutely loved it and it gave me goosebumps to listen to the students' stories of going there. The only problem is I have no idea what I would want my major to be, so I have to think about that. I sat there and listened and munched on yummy food they had in the back. Seriously they had some good food.

I'm finally feeling like myself after being sick for almost a month. I mean, I still have a bit of a headache and a sore throat, but I've been able to workout and feel GOOD again :) lalala yay.

How was everyone's week? Catch me up :)

Maddie 

Winter is that you?

There is actually 46 days until Christmas....I mean really? Where the heck has time gone? As excited as I am for the upcoming holidays, I just want time to slow down, just a little bit :) 

Are you excited for Christmas?! Did you buy any countdown apps? <3

Maddie