Enrolling in a New School?

Yep. You read that right. As of today I am officially enrolling into an online business/marketing school, and I am SO FREAKIN EXCITED. It's everything I've been asking for. I'll be able to learn about social media, branding, networking, building a business and everything else that comes with being a successful entrepreneur. Gosh I'm getting goosebumps just writing this. And the best part is, I'll be able to work and study on my own time, so school or activities will never be in the way. This, as crazy and exciting as it is, is a big step for me. It's out of my comfort zone, and so far it's making me feel so confident and powerful. This year I made it a goal to do things I would normally say no to or to back away from. Why not take risks? There is absolutely nothing bad that can come from saying yes, other than finding out if you like and don't like something. Instead of saying no and regretting it forever, make awesome memories! Make yourself stronger and smarter and happier! I'm already so thrilled that I'm able to do something like this, and it hasn't even started yet. This is an opportunity that was basically put in front of me after praying for something like it to show up, and its crazy to me that my wishes came true. I am SO beyond grateful for my parents too, who are helping to pay for some of it. But I told them they will get every penny back. I'm so excited to start this new wild journey :)

Here's to saying yes to many opportunities and creating a freakin amazing life<3

Killer Comparison

This whole week I've dealt a lot with this feeling. This feeling of constantly comparing myself to literally every girl I see, read about, stalk on Instagram. For a while, I was able to stop doing this to myself, because I was in a good place mentally, but lately it's been hard. Things like how many followers she has, how perfect her skin is, how fit she is, it's all been bothering me. And it doesn't feel good. It brings me down, and I'm not the type of person that likes to feel that way! Why do we do this to ourselves? Each and every one of us are totally different, separate human beings. NONE of us should ever want to be anybody but ourselves. But do we blame social media? Or is it just human nature to want something so badly? I realize that in this "business" of blogging, there is a great deal of comparison on every level. From blog design, to followers to the types of writing and pictures posted…sometimes it all gets a bit too much and it overwhelms me, and on some days I feel like just walking away from it all. But its just a matter of how you take it. You CANT compare your own beautiful, unique being to someone else…you just cant. Everyone has their own journey, their own style, their own followers. And not everyone will like each other! But thats okay. It's how the world works. If you compare yourself to the blogger with 500,000 followers and a picture perfect life on the outside, you will feel miserable and let down. Instead, create a vision of what you want for yourself. What makes you happy and excited? What would you do for the rest of your life if money didn't matter? Go do that. You'll find yourself and your happiness, and the right people will find you and follow you. You can't want to be a copy of someone else because life doesn't work that way. Instead, just BE YOU. Block out the negative, the comparison and love who YOU are. Because you're amazing and unique and special, and there's only one of you. So be the best you you can be and everything will work out the way it should.

Comparison is the thief of happiness. So when you find yourself comparing, take a step back from life and get back to who you really are. <3

Anorexia Recovery

I've really been thinking about it a lot, and I've come to realize I really want to help other girls going through what I'm going through. Being diagnosed with anorexia/orthorexia is something I never would have thought I would have to deal with. It's been a very long, hard journey for me. I've restricted calories, over-exercised, cut out foods and food groups. I've dealt with extreme weight loss, hair loss, fatigue, you name it. I started my vegan journey a year ago and I feel absolutely wonderful. So, when I see girls with this same problem struggling, it kills me. I so so badly want to help and guide and answer questions. I want to share all of my vegan recipes, tips, and things like that.

Where do I begin? Tumblr? This blog? Another blog? A youtube channel? I want to make the jump. I feel like I'm kind of starting over with my blog. I'm leaning towards more lifestyle, vegan/fitness but also still incorporating beauty and fashion because I love it. I'm trying to set up and figure out a good posting schedule, where maybe every monday is lifestyle, tuesday is something vegan, and so on. But I have to find something that works for me.

Meeting so many different girls from Instagram and blogs who have recovered or are recovering is so special to me. It's like making a new friend, and they know EXACTLY what you're going through. The whole vegan community is so reassuring and lovely and I really want to be apart of it. So I think I'm going to make that my priority :)

I also have a question- do you think there are more vegan tumblr blogs? I feel like there's a lot and I have a better chance of talking to people quicker and easier…what do you think? I just have to learn how to use that site properly haha! ;)

The Grammy RedCarpet: My Favorite Looks

I know it's only three looks, but to me I thought these were the most beautiful of the night. I thought Taylor arrived looking so sophisticated and beautiful, and kind of like how she used to dress in the big ball gowns. It's different from what she's been wearing recently! Ariana of course STUNNED in that little white Versace gown, the back was my favorite part. I think because she's so tiny its hard for her to pick out any gown that isn't figure hugging, so I thought that silhouette was a perfect fit. And then we have Rihanna, who caused a stir with her gown haha. A lot of people are saying they didn't like it, but I would have to disagree. I think the color is gorgeous and it goes amazingly with her skin color, and the whole body of it to me is fun and funky, just like her personality. It covered her up a lot which is a surprise since she is usually in very little, but I love it overall. I would totally wear it and I think it was a great step for her to wear it!

What were some of your favorite looks from the Grammy's?

oh ps. i changed my blog layout and so far I'm really liking it-what are your thoughts?

xx

What I Want: Workout Gear

I have no idea why but all of the sudden I've been obsessing over workout clothes. It's never been something that I really wanted or needed for that matter, but as I'm getting really into fitness, it's been bothering me that I have no cute clothes to wear while I workout! I recently got some cute athletic hoodies to exercise in, and it gave me such an added burst of energy and motivation to work out and push myself harder haha! You feel so much better when you know you look cute in a good pair of leggings or a sports bra-and not only that it helps you perform better too. My personal favorites that I've been eyeing up are Nike and the Victoria's Secret PINK workout gear. 

Do any of you have a personal favorite? I would love to know recommendations! :)

Happy Monday xx

Maddie

Simply Smile

Thats all it takes. Look in the mirror and for that one moment of catching your eyes, your reflection, just forget everything thats happening and picture happiness. If you're feeling sad, angry, confused, fearful, take a moment to travel to a different space. Close your eyes and think of a place that truly calms you and brings you a sense of comfort and joy. For me, thats imagining myself laying underneath the warmth of the sun next to the ocean. Nothing is better than the sound of crashing waves and feeling the grainy sand against my skin. It's bliss, and thats what I've been thinking about in times of panic. If you're feeling that mid-week oh my god when's friday slump, imagine yourself in your special place. Even take some time to yourself in your bedroom, close the door, light a candle and just lay and listen to nothing. Hear your thoughts and imagine your goals that you want to reach. 

I've started doing this for the past week and I don't know how but my life has done a total turn around. I'm waking up so giddy and grateful, and I've been interacting with more kids at school and making more friends…I mean is this a coincidence or am I just lucky?! I don't know, but I thought I would share with you guys something thats been helping me, just so it can help you too :)

I hope everyone is having a good week, its almost friday!!

Maddie

Some Sunday Inspiration

Ever since this little break I'm taking on my body, I feel like so many thoughts and ideas are coming to my head. I've been doing yoga in the morning when I wake up instead of my crazy workouts, and I swear it's helping to calm my mind and open my creativity. Today as I was sitting here reading through some artsy blogs, I realized that this is really what I'm meant to do, create and express myself through art.

I feel like over the past year or so I've just been lost. I've tried to adapt to certain styles and convince myself to like certain things just because they were popular, and it's hitting me now that doing that to myself is such a waste of time. Why do I want to be anybody but myself?? Everyday I pray and wish that I will "find myself" and my calling and discover my passion, when really it's been in front of me the whole time, I've just been going through a lot of shit and it's been blocking me from realizing it. 

I really am getting the urge to change everything, once again haha. I want to change my blog layout to something more me, because it's not me anymore. I've held off on getting my bedroom furniture and I don't know why, but now it's all making sense because I guess I just wasn't ready to commit to another big change. It's so funny how everything always ends up happening for a reason..I've also been wondering about getting a job and when that will happen, but I've been thinking of so many different things like interning, and even modeling, that I'm okay with not having a job yet because I know the right one will come soon.

I know it seems silly to talk about exercise the way I do, but ever since I'm taking a break I feel free. I feel like I'm finally relaxing and enjoying the present moment. I'm not worried about how many calories I burned or what kind of crazy insane workout I will do tomorrow. It's not worth that mental stress and I'm finally starting to realize that. I want to be able to look back on this journey and see what kind of progress I made through this hard time. 

After seeing some really cool artsy posts, I'm feeling realllyyy inspired and right now I just want to grab some paints and create an awesome collage or abstract painting, so I think I'm gonna do that :-) I guess this was just a quick little stop to check in :) I hope everyone is having a beautiful weekend! The rainy weather I'm experiencing is also perfect for that cozy warm artsy feeling haha!

Maddie

It's a New Year

It's a new year, and to be very openly honest, I really want to change. Not in a big way, but just improve myself. Over the last couple of months I have gone through a lot of confusion about my life, school, where and what I want to do after I graduate high school, and it all got to me. I'm still trying to ease off of myself and just let myself relax and breathe, but it takes time. 

I want to get more personal on this blog, and take it very seriously. Since my head has been anywhere but here, I feel terrible and guilty. There were some weeks where I was content and posting everyday, and over the last month or two its been every 3-5 days, and I'm not okay with that. I'm not saying I'm just gonna post something to have something go up, I want my content to be great quality that you look forward to reading. 

I want my blog to grow so much this year, and I want to DO so much this year. I want to write and achieve goals, accomplish things that scare me, and work my butt off. But at the same time, go easy on myself and tie my body a break when it needs it, because I struggled with that last year. 

The content on this blog will change a bit, I want it to be more organized. Im sort of beauty, food, lifestyle, all over the place, but I've been putting a lot of thought into it and I want to share more of what I love, like design, fashion, baking vegan things (since I am vegan haha!) and overall beauty. 

I am SO looking forward to this year. I know it's going to be amazing and filled with scary situations, but I have to get over that. Im gonna push myself, get inspired, and kick 2015's ass! ;)

Care to join me?!

Maddie

Bordeaux

This beauty of a lip gloss I picked up at Sephora a few days ago with a gift card I got for Christmas, and after walking around the store second guessing myself if I should get it, I am sooooo glad I did. It's a lip cream from Bite Beauty called "Bordeaux" and it is the most gorgeous shade of plum and burgundy. I've been looking for deep purples like this to wear on my lips because I've been feeling a little vampy lately for winter haha, so this is the perfect color. It doesn't smudge at ALL. I wore this on New Years Eve from 10 in the morning until midnight and after eating and drinking it was still purely there. I was surprised, but then again the formula is so thick and pigmented its not gonna budge. 

I also loved wearing this because its all natural, and you can basically eat it, hence the name of the brand ;) which I thought was clever! It also smells like fruit, not too overpowering, but a nice scent. 

Would you try this dark color?

Maddie

Let's Chat

Today I just felt like rambling a bit, so there’s your warning.

Some days I’ll feel on top of the world, like I can do anything and be anything I want to. I will feel strong and powerful and confident. I’ll imagine myself surrounded by great people and wonderful things.

And then on some days, I’ll feel small and weak and not very happy or joyous or grateful. I really hate feeling this way but it just happens.

I was walking around my school campus at lunch and I was thinking about myself and situations I put myself into. There are a couple of nice girls I’ve wanted to talk to for months now, and I haven’t. Because I feel nervous and unaccepted. I feel like they’ll think I’m boring and not “cool” or too shy and quiet. Yes I am like this, but once I get to know someone I have a hard time being serious and shutting up. That’s just me. It’s like I’m afraid to talk…and let people in on my thoughts. I haven’t had a real genuine friend for 4 years. So it’s kind of like I’ve forgotten what having a friend feels like. I’m a Gemini for crying out loud I have MULTIPLE personalities. That I can definitely believe.

Well while I was walking around, one of those girls noticed me and stopped me and welcomed me to sit with her and her friend at lunch. Like, it’s like she read my mind. Did I manifest this?? I believe so. It’s all I’ve been thinking about, making friends and having people to talk to.

How do I get over this anxiety of talking to people and approaching them?? Do I sit down and tell them the truth that I’ve been wanting to talk to them for MONTHS? I really want to, and what would be so bad about that anyway? Obviously they’ve noticed me too… I don’t know. I feel like I’m going bit crazy.

I also haven’t gone to get my job application yet at the store I want. Well, it kind of took me a little while to figure out I need to be in retail, and the store that would be awesome to work in is Urban Outfitters. They WERE hiring for seasonal employees a couple weeks ago, and since I got sick I wasn’t able to go. I really really REALLLLY hope they’re still hiring, because it would be a miracle if they were. Getting into retail would be amazing for the school I want to go to and the field I want to be in. the weeks have been going bye so quickly and I’ve had little things come up. I just feel like I’ve pushed it off to the side and I shouldn’t have.

Anyway, it’s been a long week at school. Everyday I have to stay after 4 extra hours for acting rehearsals, but since I’m not in the play I’ve been doing nothing. The first two days were pretty long, tiring, and boring. But I have to say, the last two days were a lot better…I’ve been getting to talk to more of the girls and get to know them, and all of us have just gotten closer. It’s so cool that I’m actually enjoying parts of this school haha. Weird!!!! ;)

I really want to leave this on a happy note. SO, I’m so excited that I decorated my Christmas tree and made more cookies haha. Pictures to come!! ;)

*ps due to my long days at school I haven’t had any time to do anything at home so that’s why theres been nothing on the blog this week so I'm very sad about that but it will get better soon!

Maddie

School is Cool?

Okay so today…at school…I actually enjoyed myself. I had a good time, and I felt happy. Am I really typing this? Yep I am. And today during lunch, two girls, really nice girls, came up to me and sat with me. And we talked, and it was SO nice. I don't know why this is happening, but I have a feeling its because I've changed my way of thinking dramatically. I don't wake up depressed and mopey anymore, I wake up energized and ready to conquer my day. Instead of walking with my head pointed towards the ground, now I walk and smile to someone who looks at me. It's so refreshing, and almost insane that I got stuck in that rut to where I almost didn't care if I was happy or not. I have to say, it's weird that I'm enjoying school more. I've prayed to the universe to help guide me in the right direction, because I've felt very lost. And I'm starting to feel okay with that. I know I need to relax and understand that I'm young and I don't need to plan out my life right now. But I'm the type of person that likes plans, so. I've got to work on that. I've prayed to make friends, and to get a job, ad I really have a lot of faith that everything is going to fall into place. I know it takes time, I just want it all to happen quickly. 

So this was a post I never really thought I'd write haha! Surprised but very happy. And I'm so happy that I can be in this mood around Christmas time because well this is the most wonderful time of year :)

I love you all so much just so you know, and I hope you're having an amazing day or night whenever you're reading this <3

Maddie

Happy Thanksgiving!

To my fellow Americans, I hope you have a beautiful and safe Thanksgiving!! I'm headed a couple hours away to my cousins house for the day :) I have plenty of crazy family to keep me busy haha! My mom and I cooked our feast, a huge turkey, stuffing, roasted sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce. Mmmm I can't wait to eat it. Since there will be so much family in one house, there's usually  multiple tables of turkeys and other sides so I just eat what my mom makes because I'm not gonna lie she's the best cook in the family ;)

After we eat our Thanksgiving dinner my cousins and I have a tradition of playing either a family football game or baseball game until its dark outside and time for dessert haha! It usually gets freezing cold and we all end up snuggling together inside with hot chocolate and a Christmas movie :) Isn't that the best feeling? I love being with my family, especially now because I haven't seen them in over a year which is sad and insane!

Does anyone have any traditions or anything special planned for turkey day? :) I wanna hear all about it! 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Maddie

Setting Goals

I came across a blog earlier and the post I was reading was about setting weekly goals. Of course I've heard of this but it's the part of me that never actually did it. After reading the post, I sat staring at my computer like "why haven't I done this yet?" I had an ah-ha moment that when you write down goals for yourself to accomplish, you'll be more motivated and willing to check it off the list and have that satisfaction of completing something for yourself. 

So I think I'm going to start making this a weekly thing. I want to write and share my goals with you, and try my best to accomplish what I can during the week. And they don't have to be outrageously scary goals either, it can be something as simple as cleaning your room or going through clothes to get rid of. BUT it is important to make bigger goals too, because I do like the ones that make me feel a little bit scared :) Like, finally having the guts to apply for the job I want, or take a leap with my blog, dye my hair-haha! 

Hope this gave you a bit of inspiration on this fine day! :) Feel free to leave any of your goals down in the comments, I love hearing from you xx

Maddie

15 Things to do in the Fall

1// PUMPKIN everything

2// Tea every night before bed, with a good read

3// Dark lips

4// Dark eyes

5// Cat Eyes ;)

6// Cold, crisp walks

7// Extra holiday baking

8// Squash, sweet potatoes, roasted veggies, all that good stuff

9// Leaves. Look at them, smell them, jump in them

10// Carve pumpkins!!

11// Switch up your decor. Add some rusty colors and spicy scents to totally transform a room

12// Layers. Oh yea, scarves, jackets, coats, hats. Then socks, boots and gloves. Oh how I missed layering

13// More cozy movie nights, with hot chocolate!

14// Wear braids in your hair

15// Go outside and take pictures. Then edit those pictures and make a collage :-)

What are your favorite activities to do in the fall?

Maddie

Monday Mantra

I came across this quote on Pinterest and it couldn't be more on point. We only have so many days in our lifetime. If we experience a crappy day, which we all will more than enough times, then we experience a crappy day. But the thing is, when the day is over, it's over. And it's time to start over when the sun comes up the next day. No more living in the past, and no living in the future either. Life is all about enjoying the moment you are in RIGHT NOW. Right now. You have every right to start the day feeling happy, grateful,  and overjoyed. There is no reason to ruin a perfectly bright day with emotions and feelings from the day before. Our feelings are like the ocean. As humans, we are going to feel waves of excitement, waves of sadness, anger, whatever emotion. We need to accept how we feel and let those feelings pass. So no matter what, everyday should be a new day. Start now! Even as I'm typing this, it's giving me motivation to let go of feelings I've stacked up from a couple days and release them and start over. Believe me, it feels SO good to let everything go and be in the moment. 

Just take a really deep breath in, think about everything that's bothering you or weighing you down, and exhale it alllllll out. Then smile, blast some of your favorite music, and live in the moment and BE HAPPY :) Happy Monday! 

Maddie

I'm Thankful for...

I have to be honest, I've been going through a rough patch with coming up with blog ideas. Ever since school started, it has been a bit hard to manage this blog, school work, and other activities I have going on. It makes me appreciate all of the bloggers out there who work their butts off to create such amazing content. It blows my mind how they are able to do so much at a time and still put their all into their blogs. Some days I'll have a bunch of ideas I'll be able to do something with, and other days I'm staring aimlessly at my computer screen just waiting for something to spark. 

After sitting on my bed for a little while I grabbed an old journal of mine where I started to collect my future goals and blog/youtube ideas, and after reading through a couple of pages I just smiled and felt SO much better. Looking through those pages made me realize that I really do have a passion for this, I just needed some reminding. I think like a lot of other people, life gets in the way and sometimes when we start to compare ourselves to others we just want to stop everything and curl up in a ball in our beds haha! 

Anyway, it just got me thinking I am SO thankful for where I am today. Mentally, physically. I am so thankful for the school I'm attending, the yoga classes I'm taking (which by the way are completely life changing), the pure healthy food I eat, my soft cozy bed and sheets. Im thankful for my outstanding parents who always go out of their way to help me with whatever I need...I could go on and on. I'm thankful for the beautiful weather I walk in after dinner, the amazing hot pink and purple sunset I get to witness every night. I'm thankful for my amazing camera I was able to purchase for my birthday, all of my wonderful makeup i'm addicted to! ;) Hahaha 

So overall I think I just needed a little reminder of why I started this blog in the first place. I love to write, I have a passion for a bunch of different things, and I like to speak about my thoughts towards them. I love getting to know people online, and I love social media and branding too. When I first discovered 'blogging' and 'graphic design' a couple years ago, I was SO fascinated, and now years later I still am and I hope to have a job that involves all of the details I just listed :)

I'm so thankful for YOU reading this! :)

Maddie

Current Fall Nighttime Routine

Lately every night, after I finish all of my chores, homework and social media surfing I take a nice hot shower, cozy up into my bed and pick a magazine to read out of the stack i have on my desk. It's been SO relaxing and catching up on all the latest trends and reports (especially all of the september issues) is very satisfying haha. I also brought my bath and body works "pumkpin cupcake" candle out after months of being stuck in my closet and it smells divine. While I sit in bed and sip on my tea, i like my room to be dimly lit. It makes it feel so much more cozy and calm, just me? haha.

Sometimes I'll read magazines, sometimes blogs, or sometimes I'll write. I really suggest every person to do this before going to bed because it kind of frees your mind of the hundreds of thoughts that swirl around your brain as you try to go to sleep. It's definitely works for me most nights! 

Right now I can't help but think of the butternut squash my mom is going to cook later...mmmmm I love fall haha! ;)

What does your fall nighttime routine look like at the moment?

Maddie

Going so FAST

Woah, where is the time going?? I can't believe it's Tuesday already. Since I'm not used to blogging and being at school at the same time, I just have to get used to this new schedule. I promise I will be creating and writing more, there's just a lot of stuff happening in my life right now haha! It's crazy, for so long I wished for my life to get busy, and now I am. I'm getting to study graphic design, dance, acting...it's SO cool. Hope you guys are having a great week :-)

Maddie

Summer Nails

It’s finally summer!! Well actually for me it’s been summer for like 2 months already haha, any guesses on how hot it was yesterday? 109 DEGREES. YES. 109. Honestly that’s a little too hot for me. But what can I do I’m only living here for one more year J

Summer is probably my favorite season for nail colors and designs. You can get away with wearing blindingly bright neon colors or soft pastel tones.

Fingers//

For my fingernails, I love wearing any colors that will enhance my tan. Normally during the fall and winter I’m pretty light, so summer is when I always get my tan on haha! I usually go for coral-ly pinks and bright blues. This summer I have been OBSESSING over bright white nails. It looks so chic and to me, beachy. Pairing these colors with simple jewelry or midi rings are my favorite. My favorite white nail polish at the moment I actually bought from Forever 21. Random right? Haha, but it stays on for literally 5 days straight! And I'm not even joking! 

Toes//

Toenails are special because you don’t always see them! As silly as that sounds its true. During the summer though, when feet are the center of attention in pools and sandals, you have to make sure to make ‘em look nice. I'm currently loving Essie's "Tart Deco" which is a vibrant peach color, but I also LOVE blue. Especially a bright turquoise. That paired with a glittery blue on the fingernails and you’re ready to go!

I have been seeing that trend a lot lately. Whatever color you have on the bottom, put it on top with glitter and some nail stickers. It adds texture and interest.

What are your go-to summer nail colors?

xx,

Maddie

Rearranging my room ♡

Every now and then I get really tired of the way I have my room. I'm a person that spends a lot of time in my bedroom, so I want it to make me feel relaxed and comfortable, you know? So when I want to re-decorate it or re-arrange it, I don't stop. Sometimes it takes me all day, other times it takes me a few minutes. A couple days ago I started looking around at my dresser and I realized it was cluttered and very dusty. Like, sometimes i dont even remember the last time i dusted...i know. its an annoying habit of mine even though i'm such a clean freak.

This is how my dresser turned out..It's not exactly what I want it to be yet, but it's getting there. I just ordered some acrylic makeup storage organizers (and im SO excited) for my makeup and lipsticks.  so the lipsticks wont stay like that, thank god! In the future i'm going to be painting my room a very light cream, off white color, and im going to paint my dresser too. Should i paint it a bright color, or another off white color? I'm going for a more simple, crisp design but im not sure which way to go. Because I can always bring in color with accessories :D

This is how the top of my bedside table turned out. Again, it's going to be changing soon, but I like how simple it can look. I love the look of stacked books too. As you can see I have a growing collection of crystals and stones, and I also have a couple mini elephants, which all mean luck, wealth, success, etc. 

SO, I mean it's nothing outstanding, but I'm working on it! If you guys have any tips or recommendations, leave some comments below! :) 


xx, Maddie