Past Memories

During my study hall at school, i had brought one of my old journals from home to look through, because i like to do that every once and a while. It's fun to see what I was up to in past years. Anyway, holy cow was I in a time warp. It was soooo weird to see what kind of thoughts I was thinking, and how I was perceiving the future. I was writing about what kinds of things I wanted to achieve with starting Youtube, getting my first camera, and things like that. Even a year ago I was still thinking some of the same thoughts I am today, like where the heck am I going to be in a year?? It freaks me out and I wish I could control that emotion more, but I can't. Life is going to keep moving forward no matter what.

The other night my mom had left to go to a class, so it was just me and my dad at home. Normally, after dinner he goes into the living room and works/watches tv and I clean up the kitchen and go do whatever I do. But this night, he stayed in the kitchen with me and talked to me. We had such a deep conversation, and it lasted 2 HOURS. I haven't had a conversation like that with my dad in I don't even know how long. It felt so good to get some things off of my chest, like talking about my eating disorder with him, how I'm trying to gain weight, what I think about school and how I'm doing with "future plans", he even asked me about my hobbies and I told him how I wanted to start modeling, which is something I've always been afraid of admitting! But I did and he said he is on my side no matter what. He gave me his insights about everything and I listened, and we even got a bit emotional. Honestly I loved every minute of it. We ended up hugging for a long time at the end and in that moment I felt so secure, like everything is going to end up okay. Sometimes I wish I could have more talks like that. It just gives me a sense of knowing that I'm in really good hands and that life is going to be okay during these confusing times. Anyway, I thought I would share that because it was a really special moment with my dad and I want to remember it forever.

Maddie

Simply Smile

Thats all it takes. Look in the mirror and for that one moment of catching your eyes, your reflection, just forget everything thats happening and picture happiness. If you're feeling sad, angry, confused, fearful, take a moment to travel to a different space. Close your eyes and think of a place that truly calms you and brings you a sense of comfort and joy. For me, thats imagining myself laying underneath the warmth of the sun next to the ocean. Nothing is better than the sound of crashing waves and feeling the grainy sand against my skin. It's bliss, and thats what I've been thinking about in times of panic. If you're feeling that mid-week oh my god when's friday slump, imagine yourself in your special place. Even take some time to yourself in your bedroom, close the door, light a candle and just lay and listen to nothing. Hear your thoughts and imagine your goals that you want to reach. 

I've started doing this for the past week and I don't know how but my life has done a total turn around. I'm waking up so giddy and grateful, and I've been interacting with more kids at school and making more friends…I mean is this a coincidence or am I just lucky?! I don't know, but I thought I would share with you guys something thats been helping me, just so it can help you too :)

I hope everyone is having a good week, its almost friday!!

Maddie

Daydreamin'

Lately I've been so focused and uptight about this upcoming summer, that I think it's staring to consume me a little too much. I know I shouldn't be as worried as I am about what is coming after I graduate, but when will I start to figure it out, you know? I feel like I've over thought so many things that some of what I've thought doesn't even make sense anymore, if that makes sense haha. I want so badly to get a job, blog like a real blogger, and have everything in my life just fall into place. And I know that's a lot to ask for when I'm not even 18 yet. And I guess that's social media to thank. Making it look like those perfect bloggers have their perfect lives, living out their day dream everyday. It stinks that everything takes time and patience, but then again that's the whole point of life, isn't it? To create those memories and relationships between the hard times and the journeys. 

I'm really trying hard to visualize what I want and to write down my goals, because when I used to do that when I was younger, it would always happen oddly enough. I don't know why I ever stopped that in the first place. Do any of you write down what you want to achieve, and do you find that it helps you to accomplish that goal?? 

Just daydreaming….

Maddie

5 Ways To Make Your Day Better

I don't know about you, but sometimes I wake up in a not so great mood. Even though, for the most part, I try to always stay on the positive side of things, my emotions are too strong and they pull me in the wrong direction. On days like this it's a little tougher for me to find motivation to do things, so I got an idea to share with you guys some little tips on what I do to get out of the weird funk. 

Make a beautiful, delicious breakfast// Okay this one might be weird, but if it's morning and you find yourself unhappy or 'not in the mood', make something good to eat! I love food, like a lot of it lol, and breakfast is probably my favorite meal of the day. Usually I have a nice warm bowl of oatmeal with fruit, nuts, and cinnamon or a delicious green smoothie. It all depends, but I always make sure to make my meal look pretty. It makes me happy! :)

If you're angry or holding tension, exercise// It might not seem like you would want to exercise if you're unhappy, but trust me, it HELPS. Even if you punch your pillows as hard as you can, you will exert that negative energy out of your body and release "feel good hormones" into your brain. I personally like to do something everyday, whether its run, lift weights, do squats, swim, or yoga. I always make sure to switch it up so i don't get bored, because I'm the type of person that can't have the same routine for very long.

Get up, and dress up!// Make yourself look beautiful! Throw on a great outfit that makes you excited, or if you have a new shirt that you haven't worn, wear it! Then, put on a little makeup, or a lot! Who cares, just do what makes you happy. Add the extra cat flick or go for a bold lip. Sometimes when I'm feeling rebellious, I like to wear dark lipstick. It makes me feel SO good ;)

Go for a walk// If the weather is nice, going for a walk is something I love to do, whether if I'm by myself, with a friend or with my family. It clears my head, and often it's when I get some great ideas coming to mind. Plus, there is nothing better than hearing nature. I love to stop in the middle of countless tall trees and just stare at the sky and think about life. You have to remember that we are only given this life once after all, so anything making you upset is really meaningless. Breathe a couple of breaths and feel grateful for everything.

Watch your favorite movie and bake some treats// This might not be for everyone, but yes I am like an 80 year old grandmother, okay?! There is nothing that makes me happier than staying home at night, watching I Love Lucy or the Parent Trap, and baking some cookies. And then eating handfuls of dough lol. And doing it with a friend or my mom is even better!! ;) 

Yes some of these are weird tips, but they help me get out of weird moods and if you've never tried any before you should, just to see if they help you too. Remember, each day is just a day. If you have one bad day, don't scold yourself, and don't hold on to negative energy. Before you go to bed, make a list in your head of things that make you happy, or things that your grateful for. Think about exciting things coming up in your life. When I do this I tire my mind and fall asleep. And then you can start a brand new, fresh day! :) SMILE!! 

Maddie

Weekly Recap ♡

Well happy Friday everyone! :) This week flew bye. I planned on doing more than I did, but I just got caught up with other things and now it's already the weekend, crazy! My dad was away all week for a business trip so I'm looking forward to spending time with him...I'm scheduled to go and get my driver's license (yikes!!) so I need to practice with him a weeeee bit more haha! Anyway, I though I would just share some moments of my week that made me smile. I personally love to read these kinds of posts, so I wanted to write one myself :) 

Monday// I woke up and felt so energized and ready for the week. I had an amazing workout and much needed tan time!

Tuesday// At about 10:00 at night, I got the urge to bake some homemade granola. Lemme tell you, I don't know how I didn't eat the whole batch. It's got everything from sunflower seeds, to walnuts, almonds, dates, coconut flakes, and toooonns of cinnamon. Recipe coming soon ;)

Wednesday// Guess what I ate for breakfast? Yep, my granola. With some sliced banana, strawberries, blueberries, and a splash of coconut milk. It was heaven. 

Thursday// My mom, little brother and I all went out to this outdoor shopping center. We walked around and had the nicest time, then stopped by the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. But you know what that means, yes of course we ordered dessert. I'll just say we all licked the plate clean.

Friday// Since it's technically the beginning of the day I can't really say much, but I am feeling extra grateful all snuggled up in my bed sheets writing this. I'm going to go make some tea and then do some yoga. Ahhh, I'm so happy :) 

I hope this made you smile a little bit! Did you have any special moments during your week? Share them down below! :-)

Maddie <3

∙•Create, Not Compete•∙

We need to create instead of compete. I sat outside just thinking about everything, and this thought popped into my mind. Wouldn't it be amazing if people everywhere just created anything they wanted to, with the intention of being happy? Not out to compete with anyone, but just for the sake of their own happiness?

Just imagine how much freedom everyone would have. No one would be looking for any anger, stress, competition. 

But why can't it be like that now? Why can't everyone just start to create what they want to? Do you want to create your own blog? DO IT! What's stopping you? The fact that someone else has 10,000 followers? Big deal, because you could get there with hard work and belief that you can.

CREATE something. ANYTHING you want. WITHOUT the intention of doing better than someone else, because THAT DOESN'T MATTER. If cutting out pictures from magazines makes you happy, then do it! Don't worry about what the end result will be, just be in the moment. Love every second of cutting those pictures out. 

By doing and creating what you want, you use your imagination and you set off more thoughts and ideas. And it will make YOU happy, and in turn that makes others happy. But don't do something to be better than, or cooler than, or smarter than 'someone else.' Create the life you want, for YOU.

Just some Tuesday thoughts ~

Maddie

Are You an Introvert?

I was at the bookstore with my mom a couple days ago and I spotted Company Magazine in the sea of all the other magazines. I was shocked because my bookstore never carried this magazine before and I've been dying to read it for a couple months now, so as soon as I saw it I grabbed it right away! Anyway, I was reading through it and absolutely loving it. And, this may be cheesy or weird, but I love how everything in it is priced with pounds or euros, and they use English words that us Americans don't use, so it made me feel like I was actually in England...cries.

The point of this post is about an article I read in the magazine, and it really got me thinking. It was all about how introverted people are thought of the wrong way. I mean think about it, when you think of someone who is 'introverted' you think of someone who is shy, quiet, un-confident, simple..right? That's what comes to my mind. But after reading the article I quickly got to scolding myself thinking where did I even come us with those words?? 

An introvert is someone who could be totally social and talkative, but the difference between an introvert and an extrovert is simply this: an introvert needs time alone to recharge and re-energize, while an extrovert needs to be around people to feel re-energized. It all makes a lot of sense to me now. I think introverts get a bad wrap in society. Personally, I know I'm an introvert, and saying that doesn't bother me the slightest bit. I'm a very talkative, outgoing person, and when I want to speak up boy do I speak! (I've kinda gotta be careful with that lol.) But I definitely need my time alone. If I don't get the right amount of alone time in a day, I feel drained and frantic, you know like when you can't think straight. I'll admit, I could only hang around crowds of people for so long before I feel like I need to get away and come back to reality.

Some of the most successful business owners and celebrities are introverts; like Beyoncé (i know right! i couldn't believe it!) Christina Aguilera, Pink, and Lady Gaga to name a few. And not that it matters, but that made me feel better about it too haha.

So I'm curious, are any of you introverts, or extroverts? Do you think this information describes you, or what you thought? Let me know in the comments!

Maddie

Stress Less: Go For a Walk

I hope you're all having a great weekend! :)

I think I want to start a new series called “Stress Less.” I always like reading posts about how to make life a little less stressful, so I want to share with you what works for me.

I have always liked taking walks, especially at night when the sun is setting. That’s a time for me when I feel most myself. That, or right in the morning when the sun is rising. I guess I’m just that kind of person haha! Taking a quiet walk in the evening is when I start to tune out and think the most about things like school, hobbies, my future plans…

But the reason I love walking is because you can start a walk angry, sad, confused, whatever emotion, and then come back feeling refreshed and new. It gives a person time to think and release any unwanted energy. Being around nature and fresh air leaves me feeling amazing, too. And closer to being a human. You know, a human that has been untouched by technology and social media and present day madness.

When I go for walks, I don’t take any music, either. And I know that would probably surprise some of you! But I really like to unplug from any technology. Now that doesn’t mean you have to if that’s what you like. If listening to music relaxes you fully, then by all means listen to 100 songs if you want to. But just pay attention to your surroundings, the animals making noises. It really centers you and brings you to the present moment.

And lastly, forgive and forget. If you got into a fight with your parents, a sibling, your best friend, a co-worker, let it go. If it’s anything silly or just unwanted banter, brush it off and then remember you’re just a human and its normal to get into fights! If it’s something more, think about how you can resolve it without the problem getting out of hand. Think about what you can say to that person. And like I said, forgive and forget. Release negative energy.

I hope this helps anybody looking to de-stress. Even if you don’t need to, just go for a walk anyway. It’s so great for the mind, body, and soul.

Always remember to smile!! <3

Xx, Maddie

Being Curious... ☯

For the last couple of days I've been in a weird mood. I've been thinking a lot, almost to the point of arguing with myself. Weird right? I just feel like I have to write it out or something...if you don't mind.

I have had conversations going back and forth in my head, like saying "you need to do this" "i'll do it later" or thinking about things in the future which don't need my thoughts yet. That is a problem I'm struggling with. I need to stay in the present moment. For the past, I don't know couple of weeks, I have wanted time to either speed up or slow down. I don't want to get any older at this point, because I have a fear of my future in a year's time. I don't know what I want to do, study, I don't know where I wanna go...and the truth is it doesn't matter. I know it doesn't. But I'm the type of person that likes to know things like this. I know there are people out there who go from being homeless to millionaires in a year's time, or who start little blogs and become internet famous. I have to drill it in my head that not knowing what the future holds is perfectly normal and its okay.

I just...I get anxious. When I think about things like getting a real job, not just babysitting, it scares me into thinking my childhood is over. Am I the only one that thinks this? I hope not. I have really really been trying to experiment with hobbies and things I like to do. I know what i like to do. I like to draw, take pictures, write, blog, create, i love makeup and fashion...And some days I love it more than others. On certain days, sometimes I could care less about makeup. But then on others I'm absolutely obsessed. I guess that's the thing about being human. We go through ups and downs, and maybe being a girl you go through more haha! :)

The thing is, I want to expand my creativity. I think when I went into high school, I was just kind of pushed into a whole new world, and I kind of shut myself out from a LOT. I turned into a completely different person, and I still think I'm not the same. Of course I've changed since 4 years ago, but before high school, I used to laugh at everything and not care about what people think. I used to brush stuff off that didn't matter and I used to be laid back. Nowadays, I'm sort of confused and quiet. Once I get to know people, I can't shut up, but now it's like I can't really start a conversation. When I found the world of blogging, my hopes looked up. I started following a few blogs, and now it's turned into a few hundred. I LOVE reading blogs, any kind really. It's like talking to a friend that you don't even know!

 That's why I started my blog. I started it a year ago, and left it. I do regret not trying last year, but when I look back on it, last year wasn't good. I often have a feeling inside like I'm late on the train or I'm too old to start something, and then I think how stupid is that? I'm so young, my life hasn't even properly started yet, and I'm worried about being too old! 

I have some goals that I want to achieve very soon:

-learn the tricks to good photography

-stop worrying about what others think of me

-journal and write my ideas every single day

-do something that makes me happy every single day

-create friendships with other bloggers

-smile, more often

-add to this list

These are basic, little goals that I need to set for myself. I have more, but that's why I put add to this list. Blogging and writing and creating are things I love to do, and I think it's just hard for me right now because I had fears of who I was and what I'm like. I need to access my creativity that I used to have, and start to really use it every single day, like I used to. I really want my blog to grow and turn into something amazing. Make it a place of uniqueness and a place where others can come to be happy and be let in on my life. I just want that to happen :)

I feel like sometimes I wonder why I started a blog. There are so many thousands of blogs nowadays, that a lot of content is pretty similar. But i have to realize that it's about being yourself and original. That's what gets friendships started and a blog growing. I find that if I get a vibe off of a blog like this isn't really a passion, I don't read it or follow it. Being a reader, you just kind of know when someone isn't for real. And I don't want that to ever happen with my blog. Especially since I'm starting to really put a lot of work and effort into it. Since starting to post regularly on my blog, I've realized what a demanding and long working job blogging is. Really, it's hard to understand if you don't do it, but it's a tough job! I don't really know how to end this post since I feel like I could rant a little more, but I won't haha.

This was a little rant, and I hope it doesn't annoy anyone haha. I felt like I needed to get little blurbs out of my head..if anyone wants to ever talk to me just talk to me through google +, or twitter :)

my twitter is: @maddieeebug

xx, Maddie